There's No Authority In This Maze: F The Police?

Like some others, I'm from the inner city and grew up a delinquent. Add that in with an authoritative father who ran a dictatorship (where my mother's power was second) ...and you have a young person that hated cops and everything they represented. In the African American community (for the majority) cops are seen as the bad people. They are the bad guys. The guys that take away your friends and family. The ones always pushing you around when you're hanging out with friends. The party crashers. The list goes on and on. But when you stop to think about it all...the cops are doing what they are suppose to and most often help us in the end.

On a Saturday night in the hood, walking with a friend of mine, I spit in some grass, a cop sees me, stops me, and before I could punch him in the face or run like hell and hope he didn't catch me gives me a ticket while I was asking myself why the hell was I giving him my real information since I had no ID on me. Was he right? No. The case was thrown out of court when I went in. Was it a part of his job? Yes in a way. Police officers where I'm from have a quota of how many tickets they need to hand out monthly (so they would walk around my neighborhood all the time looking to mess with someone). So of course things like this, repeated harassment while hanging out on a bench or just walking around will cause a mindset of hate and anger towards these people that have nothing but power.

But over time and as I grew in age...plus all the videos of idiots I see online where people resist arrest, yell at and hit officers, or do things that call for an arrest or at least attention, but act as if the cops were wrong...I see why cops do SOME of what they do. Like Dave Chappelle once said "Even though I don't generalize, I do do percentages and averages." So if I see someone with their pants sagging, boxers showing, and walking around the hood or chilling on the block...guess what I'll think of them? Same thing everyone else does...thugs n hoodlums. What belongs to their culture? Drugs, Guns, Alcohol. If you tell me that doesn't describe the current rap/new age hip hop culture, then you're a liar. So I don't blame cops for riding up on a curb to stop me and my friends for walking one late night especially since we did have weapons on us and were looking for revenge for a homie (someone I didn't even know directly) that was jumped and thank God we weren't searched.

So what is my point here:

• You can't win against cops, so why argue and scream and go crazy? You will lose at the end of the day. Why? We give them the rights and power to always win.
• Don't resist arrest...it will only make things worse for you. Even if one of your friends started recording it while you were beat down but didn't show you giving the cop a 3 piece combo.
• You might say F the police now, but I bet when something you can't fix on your own comes up...you'll be calling them for help or assistance (I know I have).
• That "No Snitching" crap is exactly what it is, crap. 48 Hours has taught us all that most homicides have someone snitching. Whether the case is solved or not. Someone (even the thugs) will snitch.
• Being a police officer is a job, not a characteristic. I'm proud to say I have cop friends that are great guys.
• Finally, a lot of the times when someone is arrested or the cops come to break up a party...there is a valid reason for it. Someone had to call them.

 Why do I feel like putting money up...that he deserves everything he gets??

You Don't Want Help Do You?: The Independence Lies

"The shoes on my feet - I bought 'em
The clothes I'm wearing - I bought 'em
The rock I'm rockin' - I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch I'm wearin' - I bought it
The house I live in - I bought it
The car I'm driving - I bought it
I depend on me"
~ Independent Women Part 1, Destiny's Child

I think this is where it started. This was the foundation of the "I'm an Independent Woman" revolution. Now I'm all for women empowering themselves, feeling better about their lives, and working hard to be someone. No problem with that at all. But while I say that, I feel there are a lot of situations and events that was caused by this movement that caused things in society to go awry. I know what you're thinking...he is about to go and  bash women. No. Not at all. I love women that are truly independent. But that being said...I think people have a confusion as to what is independence, semi-independence, and dependence  or dependent and living with your parents but having a Burger King job to pay your cell phone bill and saying you're grown and independent. Well what are the definitions you ask? I will be gladly to share.

Based on the Webster's Dictionary:

Independence: "Not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)."

Semi-Independence: "Partially independent."

Dependent: "Relying on another for support (children)."

What is the confusion exactly? Because Destiny's Child said "All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and no one wants to feel left out and the odd ball, so every girl joined in and was jumping to be that independent women. Problem is...a lot of the females claiming independence, are in fact...semi-independent at most. Why? Well based on the actual definition of the word...you should not require dependence on anyone. But based on who I'm seeing call themselves independent, they're really just girls with a little bit of money in their pocket. They shout independence, but yet only can cover a small personal bill and new jeans now and again.

Lets make some examples....first lets bring up Rachelle. She's a bright young girl, intern at an accounting firm. She screams "I'm independent, everything I have I bought it. I got my own money"....but lets go deeper...she lives at home and her shopping sprees are covered by her father. That's NOT independence. How about Lisa, she is a bit young and has a job at Subways, but has her own crib and her father doesn't pay for anything...yet her boyfriend covers the bills since Lisa only makes enough to be ghetto fabulous. We can even visit Casey. She lives alone at home with her mom....the rest don't even matter. She's not independent. And college students are just as dependent as anyone else in these examples

See my points here? We are not even mentioning the females that say they are independent with a work study job and their parents pay all their bills. But you will still hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that she does everything on her own lol. And let's not go into the case of the girl that gets on guys because of what they are lacking, yet her daddy bought her car and pampers her with all her clothes and accessories. I can say I've seen the last example 1,001 times lol.

So what's my point here? There is nothing wrong with being young and semi-independent. Nothing wrong with being young and dependent. Whether parents, boyfriends, or just family members, its ok (until you get older, then its sad). They are there to lend a helping hand and in some situations a crutch. But at the same time...don't lie to yourself and others. Me? Everything I own...I bought. My bills covered by me. And I've lived on my own for years now. You don't hear me screaming "I'm independent". But damn Destiny's Child for starting a movement that cause females to lie to themselves even more than usual (which was then upstaged by Beyonce's 'Girls' song). 

Some of you are saying "Well they have to fake it till you make it", well I agree with that ideal to a point. What is that point? Where you're lying to yourself about the truth and getting on others because of it. So next time you see a woman saying she refuses to let a man be the head of the household...hear a female yelling at men about what she has because she feels someone cares...think about this song...and think about all the females that are in this movement lying to themselves...and paying the price because of it. What is the price? That's a long post in itself lol. Maybe one day though.

So is this a case of a female feeling independent or a black female fed up? Since we don't know the background....its a toss up.

How Do You Know Your Future Path?: Private Schools Vs Public Schools

Now this is something that I have talked about a couple times lately with friends and seen many people discuss. Also saw a number of wonderful documentaries talking about the U.S. school system and the success behind charter schools. So what am I here to say to you all? That my kids...will never go to a public school lol. And here's why: *Be warned, many stereotypes and generalizations are about to occur*

So lets start with public schools. Went to them my entire life and even for college. What's the problem with these public schools?

• The teachers. Not all of them, but I knew of many teachers that didn't care. Especially when teachers get their tenure lol. There is even a show coming out called Bad Teachers that covers this. Teachers get tenure and CAN NOT BE FIRED WHATSOEVER. So what happens to them? They are moved to another school or go through a slap on the wrist punishment.
• Violence. A lot of bad kids (yes, I believe in there being bad kids) end up just going to their zone schools. So a number of students from the wrong neighborhoods ends up with James bringing a gun to school (which happened in my high school and I had beef with James, so happy he was caught). And yes, it can happen in a private school...but how many fights and out of order issues do you think happen between the two?
• Education. The most important one. We all know that the education system we have is horrible. There are tricks used to fix and work around this. One of which being longer school days, incorporating technology, and the simplest...creating person relationships with students.
• Possibilities. Now anything can happen anywhere. But with less attention being given to students, the possibilities are endless. We all know about the girls giving head in the back hallways and on the staircases. I remember in the 7th grade, I would hang out with girls every day in the back staircase instead of going to lunch.

Problems with private/charter schools:

• The biggest issue I hear are the other students there are snobby...but I rather my kid have to be around snobby kids he can ignore or grow to want to beat out in life, then around kids that just want to hang out and do nothing.
• The girls end up going wild. And you telling me Shaquetta from M.S. 234 wasn't just on the block prostituting? People with that remark make it seem like girls in public schools don't end up wild and slutty. Some worse since they have less opportunities.

Though I made it a good distance with a public school education, don't be fooled...I know I would be ten times better off if I had a private school education. My biggest problem now that I'm working on is my vocabulary. I remember testing to go into a special middle school and got in, but my parents couldn't afford it. Then for high school, I barely missed the score needed to get into a school for science and math. Had a girlfriend that went there, she told me universities would come and they would be admitted wherever they liked. She ended up going to University of Florida. When my school had college fairs...the main stands in our gym were all military services and community colleges. So you look at me and tell me private and charter schools aren't the best thing for kids. On average, your goals are smaller, your opportunities are smaller, and the people laying out the right path for you just aren't there.

Searching For The Next Move Wont Help: God's The Answer?

I've come to a conclusion these days...people expect for everything to be solved with God and religion. Is this actually true that it will? No. If you know me, you would know that I am a very religious Muslim man. I praise God and thank him daily for all that he has done for me and my family. We're very blessed. But that being said...even during times of poverty, sadness, and whatever else the world throws at people to have them in a state of needing an answer...we prayed to God for help in doing what we needed to do and went out and did it ourselves hoping he would be there. But what is the main point there? That we didn't use God as a crutch or to put everything on him, like he's going to magically come down and throw us a million dollars with some answers to questions.

And that's what I think is wrong today with some of the people out there. Not to mention the nuts in these mega-churches that think the pastor/reverend is some kind of messiah or prophet. Can someone explain to me when it became God's job to fix your relationship or take you out of your situation? That's crazy talk to me. I say God is there in order to guide us in the right direction, not to come from the sky with baby milk since you spent the money on the club. Yes, I know there are tons of families out there in bad situations because of chance or life...but that still doesn't give them a reason to go and put everything in hopes that God will save them without them putting in some work also. Pastors say it all the time, "God helps those that help themselves". Putting all your cards on God while holding your weed in one hand, a bottle of Ciroc in the other, and crying about not being able to make it out the projects after losing your job and not having enough money to pay the mortgage instead of doing your best to solve the issue (even if it includes filling for Bankruptcy) is what will lead to a long line of living on the edge. Once saw a woman with a kid on True Life (on MTV)...her income (which was only from child support) couldn't pay all of her bills (though she lived alone instead searching for someone to live with). How did she manage? She would randomly end up with money each month from different sources. How long can you last like that?

When i was younger, I heard someone say that Christianity is the poor man's religion. When you think about such a statement, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that so many Americans are Christians (from all kinds of economic levels). Then you might stop and think...hold on...are we considering Christianity to be all sects, or are we diving them up? I know I don't consider Catholics to be the same (especially after going to a Catholic church). But then you think about all the people in low income neighborhoods that rely on God for everything. Makes you wonder why the ratio of higher economic people are in churches less often and talk about it less...or is it just based on the specific cultures they belong to. And honestly, I agree....Christianity is the poor man's religion. I can go on for days making little points about why, but that will end will an extra long post lol. Think about it yourself and tell me what you think. Does religion (all religions included) give an excuse for people in bad situations to stay there? Is it a way for people to pass the blame of their situation and what has happened to them? Or is it just the personality of those individuals all wrong??

Wonder how real or valid the below pictures are....? And if they are valid, I see a connection between economy and religion lol

Story Time (By memory): There once was a woman that was lost at sea in a small boat. Away from everyone and no way to call for help, she waited for a sign from God. A ship came by and saw her in need of help. She told him : "No thank you, God is coming to help me and will provide a sign". The ship left along with the crew. Another ship came and saw her. When they came close, she told them: "No thank you. I'll be ok. God will save me and show me a sign". As time passed...the woman died. When she got to heaven she asked God: "Hey, I was in need of your help, why didn't you save me or show me a sign?". Then God replied: "I did send you signs, I sent two ships that wanted to save you."

Try New Search Algorithms: Is Online Dating The Magic Gateway?

I just read a statistic that shows 1/8 marriages last year were from couples who met online. The funny thing about this is...a lot of the people I have met in recent years have been from online. I've made some great friends from Twitter and even had a girlfriend that I met from there. My oldest brother met and married a women he met off Match.com. One of my most important relationships ever was hooked up by a mutual friend after I saw her friend on Facebook. The closest person to me now in Michigan, I met when she hit me up online. And till this day I periodically have multiple phone numbers sent to me from females online that want to hang out and be friends, and some for more than just that. As a matter of fact, I recently went out a date with a girl from twitter. We did decide to be friends though.

But what am I getting at? With the invention of Myspace, which everyone knows is just a spot to find people to hook up with, and the invention of Facebook and Twitter, outlets for staying in contact with people while meeting new and cool people, the world is becoming more internet based. We can have a whole conversation and never say a word to one another. We could keep in contact with one another and never have to reach for a phone or a pen. We are in a world where there are 1,001 ways to be in contact with one another and so why wouldn't this be true.

Some feel that meeting people online is strange and weird. Especially someone to hook up with or maybe go into a relationship with. I honestly don't. Maybe because I'm such a technology person or because I'm a guy without fear of being raped lol. But honestly, there isn't much difference when meeting someone that could be crazy and you meet them in a mall or on a school campus. So what do I say to this new statistic....congrats to those people who found love and are now married. That's it really. Not much I could say. I'm happy for them and hope things work out. I actually saw two groups of people taking pictures after their weddings. Did they meet online? Who knows. But there are tons of ways to meet online. Whether because it was an intention while using e-harmony or by accident while having a debate over a friend's status on Facebook.

My point is...you never know where you will meet the one. So why limit yourself nowadays. But do be careful, some people are uglier than what their pictures show lol. Advancements in technology also means more ways to lie to you.

You Knew What This Was: Who's Lying Here?

So I'm on Facebook and comment on a friend's post as a joke (though also serious). His status stated:

Congratulations to all of my Friends and Family that graduated to day From SUNY COLLEGE At Oldwestbury. There aint no place like Oldwestbury. We're cut from a different cloth. I cant wait to see what everybody does next.

So being that I went to SUNY Old Westbury for my first year of college and happy I had left, I stated:

I'm with you....can't wait to see where they'll be packing groceries at either. I vote a Costco or a Walmart lol.

 Was this a bit mean? Yes lol. But that's how I am sometimes. But that started a conversation among others about the name of your college not mattering. And to be honest, its a lie to think otherwise. Let's be honest and real with this. Lets make two men. Same in the exact ways. Both have the same drive and ambitions, same supporting cast, everything the same....except one graduated from Harvard Law, one graduated from West Bubble Community College Law program. They both apply for a job at the top law firm in the country. Who is getting more attention and being looked at first? In some scenarios, the second guy wouldn't even be looked at. Can guy B win the job and get ahead? Yes, but guy A would have to mess up first.

When companies would hit me, they would openly admit they wanted people only from top tier schools. And I don't blame them. Our education wasn't the same. Don't lie to yourselves. If I said I graduated with a degree from Yale, everyone would look at me differently (even though I didn't). Your brain instantly says a couple things when someone says where they got their degree from.

1, Did I ever hear of that school and does that school sound like a good one?
2, Based on the first question, you either think more of them, nothing chances, or less of them
3, Some people use this step to think of their response, being good or just saying "Oh, alright"
4, Based on step two, they are thinking either how to get off the topic of school or want to know more about your experience.

All of this happening in seconds of course. But we know its true. Its being honest. I worked harder than someone that graduated from West Bubble Community College for my degree, and someone from Stanford worked harder than I did. Does it mean one of us is smarter or harder working overall?? No. More ambitious and goal oriented? No. Just means what it is. The place you went and got your degree from matters a lot.

What Does Your School Say About You??

Some Steps Can Be Taken Back: Looking Down On Them

At what point should someone give up the life they came from and improve themselves?? Its easy (when you stop and think about it) to give up on slacking on your school work and getting the grades you want and need for a better life. People are quick to say they are educated and doing something with their lives because they are in college. It's easy to denounce the music of Waka Flacka and Gucci Mane, yet bump it in your car. Its all good to laugh at those not in your situation because you are "progressing" and going to live that good life. But my question to you is....when you're ACTUALLY successful and living the life you were working towards....and you come from a less than good place, so you're even more excited and happy....when do you give up the things you did before?

People say that you can take someone out the hood, but that doesn't mean you can take the hood out of them. I agree. I have been grooming myself for years to be ready for a world I am not use to. A world where I am the TRUE minority and had to show a great example of who I am...but not just for myself of course, but for my people. For many, I don't think it is while in college. I see people doing the same things as they did before without a care in the world. I saw a blog the other day talking about how black people look like thugs when they go out to a club or something...and I agree completely. Guys with the sagging jeans, hoodies, big jackets, flashy jewelry, and that's not talking about the language and the large talk about drugs in the community. Females, don't think you are out of the woods with your clothing that makes you look like sluts ready for any sex partner to come and scoop you up.

But what am I getting at here? I left the hood and I change my style of dress. Been working on my use of vulgar language for years and finally have it down. You have/will never seen me in the flashy jewelry or someone see me going out and mistake me for a drug dealer. Why? Becuase I left that stuff behind. So why is it so hard for others? I would see many groups of African American students hanging out and doing drugs while blasting vulgar music and dressing like they came straight from the block....then be angry when someone puts them in a stereotype. Even with rappers....you will see them hit a certain level of fame and them convert over to being able to make the real money. Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs and Sean 'Jay Z' Carter are two of the richest men in hip hop....well thee richest men really. Totally about a billion dollars by themselves. Crazy, I know. But their income changed....and so did their style of dress. You can still see them dressed up or having on a t-shirt, fitted hat, and some jeans...but what is stopping others from doing this on a smaller scale?

If you leave the hood and claim you're doing it big because you're progressing....why not work on yourself along with working on a future. Keep looking like a hoodlum or hoodrat, and your money will forever be small scale compared to what it could be.

Call me an Oreo or an Uncle Tom....but I'll be waving back at you while living the life you only dream of.

Is It Snack Time: Time To Give Out Cookies

So I'm a nice person. And I like to give cookies and doggy biscuits to those that deserve it. Thus...here I go.

1. First cookie goes to those that try to show off by posting their GPA online or bragging to friends. Am I jealous? I'm really not. Am I angry with them? No. So what is the issue? Well a lot of things goes into a gpa and how I look at it. First of all, what's your major? If you're a Liberal Arts student, then I would expect a higher GPA. How hard does your course load even get? Second, what classes were you taking that semester? I have a hard degree to just up and get, but there was a semester in college where.....nope...nope....can't remember a semester with easy classes. But I know its possible. So what did you take to be able to really show off....I'll wait. Third, what school do you attend? If you're going to some school anyone with $50 can get into, the course work can't be that hard that you have anything below it the grade you are bragging about. What did I graduate with? A 2.73. Am I happy about it? Yeah...people in my department had lower and I know I worked hard for it. So you can post your 3.73.....but I don't think you want to compare yourself to me.
2. The people that compare themselves to others and belittle them or try and put themselves on a pedestal because they are in college. Like that is the automatic factor that will lead to them being rich. I have friends that have degrees and work at fast food restaurants, retail, stores, or don't have jobs at all. So you're "I'm in college" line is useless in my eyes. Come to me when you have a 5 Year Plan. When you have REALISTIC goals and marks to hit at certain times, with the drive to match of course. That is when I will respect you. So you boasting about "being educated" although some of the dumbest people I have ever met, I met in college because you're in college simply means you went to school longer for some reason, which could have been just to have college fun.
3. People that try to make a point to show that you can be "successful" and rich without working hard in college. The people that support the drug junkies that are too high to do school work all semester, but pass the class somehow. The people that point to people like Waka Flaka and Wiz Khalifa (I think that's how you spell their names) and say they want to be like that. Well I congratulate you. Me....I would rather be the people that signs their checks. That's just me though. But don't get me wrong, I respect the people that are able to have their fun and have great grades to match.
4. The last pack of cookies I'm giving out goes to a certain guy I witness on Divorce Court. What did he do? He went and got married to a crazy woman and he ended up regretting it. What did she do? Well he was a gamer...he wasn't a fun of it...so she first cut his system wires. He replaced them....so she threw it in the oven and cooked it. His son from another relationship had a big baseball game, she took his keys and hid them so he couldn't go...because the child's mother didn't want her there. She was abusive (one of the reasons was because he gave his son more attention). She stole his credit card and had $1,700 charged on it for sex toys. She went and got a boyfriend on the side. Why does he get the cookie? She was too crazy to not see this from the jump. He should have been smart enough to dodge that marriage. People think their partner will change once a ring is in the picture....most times than not...it really wont.

Yes....there are a couple things that annoy me in the world. And like myself, we all judge and have pet peeves. So now you may judge me also lol. But if you find a reason where I deserve a cookie or a biscuit, make sure its my favorite flavor.

Why'd It Have To Be So Hard: People Confuse Me

Tonight has been an interesting one to say the least, from my friend hitting me up about a female he's talking to, to a guy on youtube sharing his preferences, to watching the Real World on MTV.

Why am I confused tonight? Well lets start from the beginning....The first thing that happened was the text and phone call I had with a friend of mine that is having trouble with a female he is speaking with. What confused me on this event? Well I won't disclose the conversation, but will talk about one thing that I continued to point out to him. That being...his money issues. He hasn't had a job for a while now and his money is declining. His only income comes from fixing computers for people he knows or referenced to. Not a bad way to make some money, but far from consistent. Yet...he is dating girls, going out with them, and spending money. Why come to me one day saying you might move because of money issues one day, then the next week tell me you bought a girl you're dating a gift to make her feel special. Screw that...there are tons of ways to make a female feel special without coming out of the pocket. He proceeded to tell me he likes buying girls things and spent hundreds on a zune mp3 players years ago for his last girlfriend.....BEFORE they even became official. That stuff is confusing to me smh.

Second event? I saw a video on YouTube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-n7wt-DmbM&feature=fvsr ). In the video he's giving reasons why he rather a hoodrat chic over a "regular" female. Then one of the video replies was from a female that appears to be a hoodrat and saying she ONLY dates hood dudes. This was funny and confusing at the same time lol. Now I am one for everyone having their own preferences, and once you state them, it gives me the option to comment or not. So will I judge him for saying he RATHER hoodrats? No. Its a preference. He even stated he rather dates that type, but he's open to dating anyone. But what's funny is the female saying she hates other types of guys lol. Someone said something I completely agree with:

"This is the same kind of chick who fu**s with these kind of guys, get's pregnant, then when the father doesn't stick around she blames ALL BLACK MEN instead of looking at the choices in men that she made."

 Too true. But where is the confusion? I'm confused to what the heck someone has to go through to make that decision? I blame it on multiple things...mostly that of not going outside her "hood" (even though after being called a hoodrat many times, she states later in another video that she lives in the suburbs lol). She talks about that point a bit. But I know why the guy rather a hoodrat....they're easier targets.

Last event.......the Real World. Now I am not big on watching tv at all, but wanted to check it out. The most I do is see a show online somehow. What happened? A guy named Adam who is....wow...so many words I can use lmao a wild and crazy drunk, a cheater, controlling, an A hole, and multiple other things. Let me give you background. He has a girlfriend back home who knows she is being cheated on. He has a thing for a roommate, who has a thing for him. The roommate, Nany knows he's a cheater, brings girls home all the time, usually has multiple girlfriends....(but females are attracted to that type sometimes anyways). My issue? He gets drunk and starts breaking everything. One night almost hitting her and punching the wall instead. While he is held down by his friends, she is trying to get through everyone to be with him. What does she say? "It's ok if he hits me, I've been hit before". Then when he gets kicked off the show, she confesses her feelings for him and wants to be with him. Even crying over him leaving. My confusion is obvious...what the F**k is wrong with these hoes females make some dumb choices lol. As her roommates talk about how dumb this situation is to even be a situation (especially how she was saying how disgusting he is so many times), she cheats on her boyfriend (with Adam) and goes on a getaway with him before he has to live for good.

The things people say and do will always mess me up in the head lol

Happy With Your Choices?: Is It Love?

I wanna love you and treat you right....I wanna love you every day and every night.......................Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'?

I can only imagine how many kids were being created to this Bob Marley song. I promised a friend of mine I would talk about love in a post, so.....here I am. But the question is...what do I have to really say about love? Currently I only love my family and close friends. Have I ever been in love though? Yeah. I've said the L word multiple times in my life, and thought I felt it, but honestly only think I've felt it two times in my entire life. First girl.....Nicole. The second....Antoinette. The potential.....Camille lol. Yes I said potential. I'll explain why in a bit.

Nicole...I met her in church in my sophomore yr of high school. I remember thinking in my head that she was beautiful and looked too good for me (I don't think about anyone that way anymore lol). We had a mutual associate and he introduced us randomly. I kept telling myself that it was no point meeting her since she would never want to talk to a guy like me. But after a church trip that changed our relationship....we moved to the "talking" phase. It started as us just wanting to "kick it" with each other, but it wasn't happening since I thought she lived further than she actually did. But after a year of on and off talking, I went to her house, was seduced, and she became my girl. November 2, 2004. Got engaged at the end of our senior yr of high school. Our plan was to get married after college. So what did we do? We went off to college away from one another. Talked less. Saw each other 1 time during the school year. And a string of actions cause me to not trust her and leave her...but because we still loved one another...the plan was to get back together after college and tell one another nothing about our experiences in college.

Antoinette....met her through a friend (well my friend's girlfriend at the time). First time I met her...I thought slim and not my type. But a very physical relationship started after that. It was summer time and when we really started dating and she wasn't girlfriend material. But because of convenience, we continued to mess around. What can I say though...we grew on each other. She fell in love with me and I would begin to include her in my life more and would stay with me in college. Somehow we kept our convenience. She lives 1.5 hrs away and school 30 minutes...but spent days on end together. This would be the second place we really lived together. The first being a friend's place in the summer. What happened after 2.5 yrs of living together and everyone expecting you to get married some day? Although her fam loved me, and mine loved her......she was open to me and my transition in life and me open to hers....but I wasn't happy with all our arguing. No faster way to drain me than to argue all the time with me. So after her doing things behind my back and making a last attempt to recover things....she ended up with a guy I didn't like and was a "friend" to her.

Camille...I met her doing community service in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. She went to my old college. We ended up liking one another and as I saw how smart she was and fun to be around...that only increased. We tried becoming more serious, but a lack of effort to see me made me leave. I need to see my girl and whenever I tried, she would be AWOL. Can't go months without seeing a girlfriend that lived 10 minutes at times and 30 minutes during school breaks. Ended before love could arrive, but it could have happened.

So where is the love now? Nicole, after dating other guys became a guy hater and we ended up never talking again (I'm serious when I tell girls if you don't respond to me, then I will cut you off). Antoinette is happy with her boyfriend and I am happy for her. We both moved on well and talk now and again. When they started dating she told me that she wants to have fun and be with him....then maybe we could be together in the future....but I don't go with females that once let me go. Camille...we talk here and there. I feel as if no matter what happens in our lives, I will somehow end up with her. She means a lot to me and I mean a lot to her. Will I love again? Yeah, sure. Why not. No point in being unhappy. Those 3 relationships were great relationships to me. Great Relationships. Problems and all.

I won't wait around and let it come...I'm the guy, I have to go find the girl, BUT....the love shall find me. One song I would sing often though when I was down about a girl.......

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love;

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love.

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl,

My heart says follow t'rough.

But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line,

But the waitin' feel is fine:

So don't treat me like a puppet on a string,

'Cause I know I have to do my thing.

Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb;

I wanna know when you're gonna come - soon.

  ~Bob Marley, Waiting In Vain

Wonder What Your Maze Is Like: We All Have Preferences

So lately I have been bothered constantly about me preferences when it comes to the females I will and will not date. The main concern of late....? Me not wanting to date single mothers and only going for females that are doing something with their lives. So hmmm....this is a bit idiotic since I spoke on single mothers and why I wouldn't date them (Here!) and its a reasonable decision. And what is wrong with me wanting someone working on a future?

Because I spoke on why I don't want a single mother already in that post, I won't go down that line again. But what I am saying now is that Its A Preference. Females say all the time "I don't want a guy with no job, no car, not educated, doesn't have his own crib, and blah blah blah". But then those same females end up with drama in their life...why? Because they check off the basic values but not the things that can be possible issues or drama. And a female with a child can be just that. And I'm not trying to deal with it. Its funny though when these single mothers attack me on facebook or twitter. It's not like I said they should die or something...just that I don't want them lol. A females says she likes dark skin guys, I'm happy. A female says she likes light skin guys, I'm indifferent. I can't be upset that they have a preference I don't belong to. That's idiotic.

Today a friend of mine got on me about my expectations being too high. What was my want in a girl I'm dating...that she is working towards her future. I didn't say in her field working....college degree....or even a 5 year plan. I just said someone working towards their future. What's the issue with that? She said because of my age, 23, that is too much to ask of someone. But I don't get that. You should start working from a young age on those things. Not wait around and hope things come to you. The older you are, the less time you have to accomplish what you want. So if you tell me because of that my hopes are too high for a female.....then damn....I should have been thinking like that for a longer time.

One consistent thing i did see though...its usually the people that belong to the groups I don't want that get upset. Bad for them though. That's life. If I don't want your group......then I dont want you're group.

We All Have Preferences, Don't Like Mine.....Too Bad. But If You're Happy I Choose Your Group Over Another....Don't Be Angry If I Choose Their Group Over Yours.

No Solution? Well Who's Fault?: Female Complaints On Dating

I have been lucky enough to meet females from all walks of life and dated women from lawyers to girls that worked in sneaker stores.....that's if they even had a job. And currently speaking to someone unlike anyone I have ever dated before and the thought of it is striking to us both. But what am I here to say? I've dated around and feel as if I know a thing or two about the dating scene. So there are a few things about dating I feel I should talk about in this post. Let jump right into it....

"Guys don't want to work and pursue a female anymore."

Maybe the reason for this is because in today's age....a guy can have all the good things that come from getting a female.....but do half the work (sometimes even less that than) that he would have to years ago. Sex is 1000% easier to get. I can call a female up and ask her to cook for me (which I have done). I can ask females to clean my place (which I have done). And a lot of the females in my generation (from what I have seen myself, heard from friends, and see online) aren't even worth the "work" to be put in for them. Or maybe that's because I have high standards. Nevertheless...I admit guys put in less work than in the past, but that is because things also take less work. Want a guy to work harder? Make him.

"Guys don't want to take us out on dates anymore...they just want to go hang out or sit around in a crib."

Quick solution....tell a guy to take you out on a date if he wants to go further. If you allow a guy to not take you out or just have sex with him and then wonder why you guys never go out....who fault is that? Be smart about what you do and allow.

"Chivalry is dead."

First off.....are you traditional? If you're not...then sit down and read a book or something. We don't care what you think. That's like a robber calling a thief a criminal....when you're both criminals. Is it dead? No. Is your choice of guys off? Maybe. Are you putting yourself around guys that don't care about that stuff (whether friend or lover)?? Maybe. What's the solution?.......choose the people you're around better. Many of the guys I am around are chivalrous.

"I can't find a good man."

Are you looking in the right places? Are you looking at all? Are you open to different things? What kind of image or attitude are you giving off? Are you sitting at home and waiting for a random phone call? What do you consider a "good man"? If for any of these questions you got upset, used any curse word to answer, answered out loud lol, or got a bit excited while talking in your head......then yeah...... it might just be you.

"Guys only go for the girls that are hoes."

 Honestly, just worry about your own. If you stop and keep thinking about why the next female is getting guys and not you...you could possible end up doing something that isn't you and ends up looking unattractive. If her trick is putting herself out there as open for sex with guys....then she isn't going to find love so easily in the end (can't turn a hoe into a housewife, but many have tried). So keep being you and hopefully things work out.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. 

~Bill Maher

You're Heading In The Wrong Direction: You Have Me Confused

So right now I have been in New York on my vacation (Back Home, Yes!!!!). So excuse my short absence. But what is on my mind right now? The Theory of Going Dutch.

So while I'm in NY, my thing is seeing old friends and spending time with people I haven't seen in a while. One fact about me though, is that most of my friends are females. Why? I like being around females and they always have fun with me, so they love my company also. The problem I have been having lately though is that they want to go out to dinner ,which I don't like doing with girls I am not dating/messing with/talking to, and then on top of that, have me pay for it. I don't get this at all. Why am I expected to pay for you if we are friends?? What responsibility do I have to you that that is a must? I don't expect anything from you, and you shouldn't from me. Its just time together.

So these are things I've heard lately:

"You're cheap" <~Mostly used

"The guys I go out with always pay"

 "What kind of guy are you? Real men always pay"

 Plus other crap that's too long, but try to demean me. Now my question is to all these female friends of mine......what the hell is wrong with you??

1, I'm not your man. Not trying to be. And want nothing from you but your time.....so why am I paying for your time when you're not paying for mine?
2, We friends. Since when do friends ask friends for anything like that??
3, I don't expect sex or anything from you....so why are you expecting something from me?
4, If I'm cheap because I won't pay for you.....what does that make you if you can't pay for you?

But the funny thing is that these are females I have known and been close with for years and they have never asked these things of me. Hmmmmm wonder why now? Sad when people change for the negative. But looks like I wont be hanging out with them. Screw that. I refuse to pay. What do I look like paying to chill with every friend I have? Who is going to help me when I have bills? Not them. So guess we will keep our relationship to ONLY messengers and texts.

So Ladies, if we are not on an official date, don't expect me to pay. Especially when you ask me out or we are only friends. And if I tell you its going to be dutch....don't be mad....come out your pocket also.

How Many Steps To Go Back?: The Count

Had a conversation the other day with multiple people on this. Some on the phone or Facebook chat, others on Twitter. What is the topic? A female's count. The number of partners she has had....that's if she can even remember or count them all.

Why is this even a topic? Because to an extent it does matter. Why? Because it can tell you a lot about someone. Now there are a couple kinds of females for this topic. Lets discuss them and why this even matters at all.

1. The female that is willing to tell and she is telling the truth.
1. Maybe she is proud of her count
2. Maybe she doesn't care what you think about her
3. Maybe she just wants to be honest and up front with you.
2. The female that will not tell you her count.
1. Maybe she is ashamed of her number.
2. Maybe telling her number has led to problems before.
3. Maybe she honestly feels its something private and none of your business.
3. The female that lies about her number.
1. Probably ashamed of her number and afraid of what you will think.
2. Maybe feels it is very private....but then again why lie? Why not just not tell a number.
3. She's a liar and a waste of time.

Now why does this even matter you may ask? A number can say a lot. But to cut some reading time for you and writing time for me...lets bullet the more important aspects.

• Shows her moral code or personal standards.
• Shows how much she can control herself or hold back from temptation.
• Tells whether she ever had a wild side before you.
• How close she feels with you to tell you (if its something meaningful to her).
• How many guys around can just say they had her (no one wants someone everyone had).
• How sexual a being she is.
• And most importantly, was/is she a hoe (can't turn a hoe into a housewife).

All things are important in that list. Some more than others. And yes people change. I am not saying judge who people are now by how many guys she's been with. I'm saying don't exclude that kind of input into who she is as a person. Do I go and ask every female I'm courting about her count?? No. Especially not if she is older than me lol. Why do I ask some and not the other? Well if she's are younger than me....its based on how she carries herself. We can date and I will never ask you. Why? Because you truly carry yourself like a lady or I don't care because I don't expect us to go anywhere but the bedroom. If she's older than me....I won't ask no matter what lol. She is older and probably has some miles on her. Meaning....if I know the number and its HUGE.....it will only be something that pops up in my head lol.

Nevertheless, as I get older...I am more open and accepting to larger number. At 20 I was shocked when the girl I was dating said 4 or 5 at 18. Last year I was shocked when a girl I was dating said 9 at 19. My fiance in high school....I don't remember asking her a number because of how she carried herself. Girls I have been talking to of late.....I haven't ask. Either because I didn't expect anything real from them, they were older, or because of how they carried themselves.

The moral here:

A female's number isn't the most important aspect of her, but it can say something about her.....No matter what age. But sometimes.....a catch is too good a catch to look for things to go wrong.

 And Yes....I Do Watch My Own Count And Make Sure It Never Goes Crazy. You Can Say A Lot About A Guy's Count Also.......But I Don't Care About A Guy's Count.

Make Smart Decisions: Who's Right If Anything?

So...minutes ago...I had a debate with someone. They work in retail and randomly popped up and said they don't understand why people that have wealth are so cheap...and the ironic thing is that earlier today I watched a documentary talking about the wealthiest 1% of America. Also ironic because of my last post. So what did we debate over? The concept of spending money repeatedly compared to large expenses.

Now she admit that poor people spend more than rich people....but can you stop and see the problem with that right there?? Poor People........Spend More..........than Rich People. She pointed out that spending $200 on sneakers every two weeks when you get a pay check is alright and better than spending $1,000 on a HDTV, which is equivalent to her 5 paycheck periods. But there are other factors involved here.

1. That HDTV will last me for years.
2. The more sneakers you buy, the less you wear them overall....making it kind of pointless.
3. I can go and sell my TV for a good amount of money....you'll only throw out your sneakers or be forced to donate them.
4. If you have a personality to go and just spend money....chances are its more than just sneakers you're going out to buy. You need the clothes to go with those sneakers. Things to take care of them. And the money to go out places and have fun.
5. We can go back to my last post....and when you see me buying something new and expensive....you're going to look on and be jealous of the money I have....when it could have been equal to all the money you spent.

So what is the problem here??  Its plain and simple. The more you go out and spend.....the less money you will end up having. The less money you have.....the less things you can go out and have. Its not a hard concept lol. I was talking to a friend of mine and we agreed on something....we worked at an amusement park together and each brought home about $600 every two weeks. Problem is that neither one of us have anything to show for it. Why? Because we went and spent it all on stupid things that we can't even remember or have now. This is the problem with so many. But never would you see me arguing that saving your money is the bad way to go.

Do I think people are different and can spend their money as they choose? Yes. Do I think some things are stupid to always buy? Hell yes. That same friend that I worked with....he said I was never the type to buy clothing. I was the guy to buy electronics. Which is completely true. But then when I would buy my electronics and come around....people were jealous or looked at me funny. Funny thing is....they would go and spend more than I would on clothes and shoes in a month, than I paid for whatever I had cost me.

Moral Of The Story......Spend All Your Money....You'll End Up Poor And Without......Then Having Nothing To Show For It.

How Much Is This Maze Worth?: Judging Others

So one thing I have been dealing with since I was a bit younger, and more so now....being judged for what I buy and talk about. What is the issue exactly? When I talk about the things I want to buy or the things I plan on buying....I get judged. I rarely ever talk about money or how much the things I want cost....but still judged. Funny thing is....its not often I talk about something new that I plan on getting. The only thing I have spoken about multiple times is a car. And why? Because not having a car in a town where the bus system sucks and things are HARD when you don't have a car. So....it pops up in your head a lot when you have to wait 40 minutes in the cold at night for a bus that never comes. Or the fact that when school is out for a break, the buses only run every hour or 40 minutes.

But what have I talked about buying or that I plan to buy? Furniture (when I moved to Michigan I had NONE at all), a new HDTV (only having one in the living room sucks when you want to relax in your bedroom), a town home (not a big house or anything, just a town home), a car (where people judge you if you don't have one here).

What is my issue? People talk all the time about the things they plan on buying or are actually buying. I see people talk about new electronics, expensive sneakers, name brand clothing, cars, jewelry, stuff for their appearance, etc. Now do I have a problem with them getting this stuff or talking about it?? Hell no. I don't care one bit. Most of these things I don't care for at all and you will never hear me talk about them. Never will you hear me say I'm going to pay $200 for a pair of Jordans....or that I have to go get the new LV (I don't know how to spell Louie Vottan*** because I never cared/had to) jeans that just came out. Nor will you hear me having a conversation about black diamonds and how I'll look going to the club. Those things are just not who I am.

You can argue and say its the price difference of the materials we are buying...but if those people that judge me or have something to say saved their money instead of buying those Jordans, maybe they could get that HDTV. If those people worked as hard and as much as I do, then maybe they could afford that new car. Before I left to Michigan, a guy that is like a brother to me went and did something that I found out a gentleman on Twitter that I speak to did......they both were able to buy their first house at 23. A friend of mine from middle school that I still talk to....has a sexy brand new car that he bought himself. Am I jealous? No. I'm happy for them. Why wouldn't I be?

So why are people coming at me when I say I'm buying a car? Maybe.....just maybe...instead of judging me or being upset....they need to just work harder in life to achieve what others have. I know multiple people that have nothing BUT work to achieve nothing....but get mad at me.....but then there are those that have nothing...but working to achieve things that are happy for me.

 

 Before you think about the next person and what they have....ask yourself what are you bringing to the table.