You Knew What This Was: Who's Lying Here?

So I'm on Facebook and comment on a friend's post as a joke (though also serious). His status stated:

Congratulations to all of my Friends and Family that graduated to day From SUNY COLLEGE At Oldwestbury. There aint no place like Oldwestbury. We're cut from a different cloth. I cant wait to see what everybody does next.

So being that I went to SUNY Old Westbury for my first year of college and happy I had left, I stated:

I'm with you....can't wait to see where they'll be packing groceries at either. I vote a Costco or a Walmart lol.

 Was this a bit mean? Yes lol. But that's how I am sometimes. But that started a conversation among others about the name of your college not mattering. And to be honest, its a lie to think otherwise. Let's be honest and real with this. Lets make two men. Same in the exact ways. Both have the same drive and ambitions, same supporting cast, everything the same....except one graduated from Harvard Law, one graduated from West Bubble Community College Law program. They both apply for a job at the top law firm in the country. Who is getting more attention and being looked at first? In some scenarios, the second guy wouldn't even be looked at. Can guy B win the job and get ahead? Yes, but guy A would have to mess up first.

When companies would hit me, they would openly admit they wanted people only from top tier schools. And I don't blame them. Our education wasn't the same. Don't lie to yourselves. If I said I graduated with a degree from Yale, everyone would look at me differently (even though I didn't). Your brain instantly says a couple things when someone says where they got their degree from.

1, Did I ever hear of that school and does that school sound like a good one?
2, Based on the first question, you either think more of them, nothing chances, or less of them
3, Some people use this step to think of their response, being good or just saying "Oh, alright"
4, Based on step two, they are thinking either how to get off the topic of school or want to know more about your experience.

All of this happening in seconds of course. But we know its true. Its being honest. I worked harder than someone that graduated from West Bubble Community College for my degree, and someone from Stanford worked harder than I did. Does it mean one of us is smarter or harder working overall?? No. More ambitious and goal oriented? No. Just means what it is. The place you went and got your degree from matters a lot.

What Does Your School Say About You??

Some Steps Can Be Taken Back: Looking Down On Them

At what point should someone give up the life they came from and improve themselves?? Its easy (when you stop and think about it) to give up on slacking on your school work and getting the grades you want and need for a better life. People are quick to say they are educated and doing something with their lives because they are in college. It's easy to denounce the music of Waka Flacka and Gucci Mane, yet bump it in your car. Its all good to laugh at those not in your situation because you are "progressing" and going to live that good life. But my question to you is....when you're ACTUALLY successful and living the life you were working towards....and you come from a less than good place, so you're even more excited and happy....when do you give up the things you did before?

People say that you can take someone out the hood, but that doesn't mean you can take the hood out of them. I agree. I have been grooming myself for years to be ready for a world I am not use to. A world where I am the TRUE minority and had to show a great example of who I am...but not just for myself of course, but for my people. For many, I don't think it is while in college. I see people doing the same things as they did before without a care in the world. I saw a blog the other day talking about how black people look like thugs when they go out to a club or something...and I agree completely. Guys with the sagging jeans, hoodies, big jackets, flashy jewelry, and that's not talking about the language and the large talk about drugs in the community. Females, don't think you are out of the woods with your clothing that makes you look like sluts ready for any sex partner to come and scoop you up.

But what am I getting at here? I left the hood and I change my style of dress. Been working on my use of vulgar language for years and finally have it down. You have/will never seen me in the flashy jewelry or someone see me going out and mistake me for a drug dealer. Why? Becuase I left that stuff behind. So why is it so hard for others? I would see many groups of African American students hanging out and doing drugs while blasting vulgar music and dressing like they came straight from the block....then be angry when someone puts them in a stereotype. Even with rappers....you will see them hit a certain level of fame and them convert over to being able to make the real money. Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs and Sean 'Jay Z' Carter are two of the richest men in hip hop....well thee richest men really. Totally about a billion dollars by themselves. Crazy, I know. But their income changed....and so did their style of dress. You can still see them dressed up or having on a t-shirt, fitted hat, and some jeans...but what is stopping others from doing this on a smaller scale?

If you leave the hood and claim you're doing it big because you're progressing....why not work on yourself along with working on a future. Keep looking like a hoodlum or hoodrat, and your money will forever be small scale compared to what it could be.

Call me an Oreo or an Uncle Tom....but I'll be waving back at you while living the life you only dream of.

I'm Not Stopping You From Finishing: "Hi Haters"?

We have a new problem in our midst. What is it? Everyone thinking they have "Haters" or people "Hating" on them. How realistic are they really?? I mean, just because I don't like something that you do or have done means.....I'm a hater now?? What are the rules and regulations for being a hater?? Does the person I'm hating on have to be successful in some kind of way? And if so....why would I hate on some hoodrat that has on a new weave that I don't like? Or the grown man with the new Jordans....but I'm laughing because he lives with his parents still. Am I hating then also? 

I think people have come out with delusions in their mind as to what the facts are in life. What are they to me? For you to be hated on...

• You have to truly successful at something.
• You have to have some level of fame or popularity, for people to even know you even exist.
• You have to be doing something that others cannot easy do or have something that is hard to attain.

Basically...you can't be some average Joe. No one cares about the guy from the union coming into the club and buying bottles with his rent money. I don't understand this completely, but I do have some speculations into why people are also talking about having "Haters". Maybe its because they want to feel important. Because they want to point out that they have something they feel others might like. Or just to belong because others are doing it. Katt Williams jokes about haters and has our society believing that if you don't have haters, then you're not doing anything with your life. #Lies. I'm doing a lot in my life, and don't think I have haters. There are people who might want what I have or dislike something that I say or do, but that's just it...its a dislike or a desire. I don't say I have haters when someone calls me out on something they feel, nor do I say it when someone disagrees with something I feel....I call it having out own opinions.

So the next time you put up picture online or talk about yourself and someone disagrees, ask yourself...."Is this them hating on me, or them sharing their opinions". Spike Lee shares his opinions on Tyler Perry movies and I agree. Is it hating? Maybe, maybe not. All about the angle you take on the matter. But end of the day....he is sharing his opinion with reasoning.

 If you dislike them for a VALID reason, it doesn't make you a "Hater", it makes you a person with a dislike.

Happy With Your Choices?: Is It Love?

I wanna love you and treat you right....I wanna love you every day and every night.......................Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'?

I can only imagine how many kids were being created to this Bob Marley song. I promised a friend of mine I would talk about love in a post, so.....here I am. But the question is...what do I have to really say about love? Currently I only love my family and close friends. Have I ever been in love though? Yeah. I've said the L word multiple times in my life, and thought I felt it, but honestly only think I've felt it two times in my entire life. First girl.....Nicole. The second....Antoinette. The potential.....Camille lol. Yes I said potential. I'll explain why in a bit.

Nicole...I met her in church in my sophomore yr of high school. I remember thinking in my head that she was beautiful and looked too good for me (I don't think about anyone that way anymore lol). We had a mutual associate and he introduced us randomly. I kept telling myself that it was no point meeting her since she would never want to talk to a guy like me. But after a church trip that changed our relationship....we moved to the "talking" phase. It started as us just wanting to "kick it" with each other, but it wasn't happening since I thought she lived further than she actually did. But after a year of on and off talking, I went to her house, was seduced, and she became my girl. November 2, 2004. Got engaged at the end of our senior yr of high school. Our plan was to get married after college. So what did we do? We went off to college away from one another. Talked less. Saw each other 1 time during the school year. And a string of actions cause me to not trust her and leave her...but because we still loved one another...the plan was to get back together after college and tell one another nothing about our experiences in college.

Antoinette....met her through a friend (well my friend's girlfriend at the time). First time I met her...I thought slim and not my type. But a very physical relationship started after that. It was summer time and when we really started dating and she wasn't girlfriend material. But because of convenience, we continued to mess around. What can I say though...we grew on each other. She fell in love with me and I would begin to include her in my life more and would stay with me in college. Somehow we kept our convenience. She lives 1.5 hrs away and school 30 minutes...but spent days on end together. This would be the second place we really lived together. The first being a friend's place in the summer. What happened after 2.5 yrs of living together and everyone expecting you to get married some day? Although her fam loved me, and mine loved her......she was open to me and my transition in life and me open to hers....but I wasn't happy with all our arguing. No faster way to drain me than to argue all the time with me. So after her doing things behind my back and making a last attempt to recover things....she ended up with a guy I didn't like and was a "friend" to her.

Camille...I met her doing community service in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. She went to my old college. We ended up liking one another and as I saw how smart she was and fun to be around...that only increased. We tried becoming more serious, but a lack of effort to see me made me leave. I need to see my girl and whenever I tried, she would be AWOL. Can't go months without seeing a girlfriend that lived 10 minutes at times and 30 minutes during school breaks. Ended before love could arrive, but it could have happened.

So where is the love now? Nicole, after dating other guys became a guy hater and we ended up never talking again (I'm serious when I tell girls if you don't respond to me, then I will cut you off). Antoinette is happy with her boyfriend and I am happy for her. We both moved on well and talk now and again. When they started dating she told me that she wants to have fun and be with him....then maybe we could be together in the future....but I don't go with females that once let me go. Camille...we talk here and there. I feel as if no matter what happens in our lives, I will somehow end up with her. She means a lot to me and I mean a lot to her. Will I love again? Yeah, sure. Why not. No point in being unhappy. Those 3 relationships were great relationships to me. Great Relationships. Problems and all.

I won't wait around and let it come...I'm the guy, I have to go find the girl, BUT....the love shall find me. One song I would sing often though when I was down about a girl.......

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love;

I don't wanna wait in vain for your love.

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl,

My heart says follow t'rough.

But I know, now, that I'm way down on your line,

But the waitin' feel is fine:

So don't treat me like a puppet on a string,

'Cause I know I have to do my thing.

Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb;

I wanna know when you're gonna come - soon.

  ~Bob Marley, Waiting In Vain

What Is A Maze Without Traps: False Conclusions

Throughout my time on this planet....people have built an image of me....is it false? Yes, No, and Sorta. You ask if I'm being fake? Yes, No, and Sorta. Not really helping am I? Well there is a lot that goes into it. Like I stated before, my mind is an extremely complex place. So what is the truth here?? People pick and choose what they want to see in a person and I have multiple sides and aspects to me.

On twitter....most of the time I am getting on females for their stupid decisions and what they do wrong but then have the audacity to complain about....how do people take this? I'm this great guy that is giving out advice because I care so much about females. The real truth? Its annoying seeing all these complaints on my TL when its coming from females doing stupidness anyways. So partially its me laughing at them, part me hoping they stop and think about their actions, and mostly just letting out my annoyance with them.

I try to help people with their problems...some people take this as I care about them...when honestly I don't. There is a big difference being a caring person and caring about someone. I was raised to be a caring person and care for others and their situations (if they didn't put themselves in that position). Do I really care if you live or die tomorrow? Chances are no. I'll say R.I.P. and say "Damn".....but then I will be carrying on with my day. Some people will look at that and say I'm cold, but....its what we all honestly do most times.

I'm at a good point in my life so I'm supposed to want money and riches....I could honestly care less. I just want recognition for what I have done and to know I don't have to worry about money problems. My facebook status right now says I rather be in a dark and empty basement than have a mansion....but would buy the mansion to say I have one. Its the truth. I don't care about expensive things...what I do like though is the fact that I am capable of having it if I wanted to. I honestly don't care about a lot of things. Which leads to our next delusion...

The ONLY reason I socialize and interact with people....its expected of me and what I am supposed to do. 99% of my time....I'm alone (I am around females the rest of the time or my boys when in NY). I rather it that way. I don't like small talk in public. Not a fan of communication with coworkers. Never liked being in large groups of people. Rather be alone in the dark with a video game in hand. Can I do those things? Am I capable of being social and going out? Do I like speaking to the small group of people I call friends and family? Yes to all....but that doesn't mean its a preference. My family knows me...I don't like calling them. I love them to death....but not a fan of it. I speak to my mother about once every two or three weeks...and its her calling me. We talk for a couple minutes and say good bye. My friends...I will text them now and again. Usually the same people though. I don't like talking to too many people as I feel I am bothering them.

And the list of misconceptions go on for days....but that is what they are. Misconceptions. I have 101 sides to me. 101 different ways and views. 101 aspects that all contradict.

I Will Forever Contradict Myself, But Never Will I Be A Hypocrite ~Jason A. Johnson

Some Decisions You Make Are Debatable: The Rude Approach

I have friends and associates from all different walks of life and opinions. And one of these people agreed to "Don't act like you never tried to dance up on a girl at a party and she gave you that ugh face". Has that happened to me before? Yeah...it has for most guys. But the thing is I can walk off and say forget it. But do I blame the guys that will yell at her or talk bad about her?? Not One Bit

Why?? Because she had no need to be rude to others. She could have simple said, "Excuse, I don't want to dance with you" or "No thank you, I am not in the mood". How hard is that? Its not. But she's a rude person that believes actions like that are warranted when a guy tried to dance with her. Yes...her body. But what happened to treating other the way you want to be treated? Bet that same girl would be upset if she walked up to a guy she thought was cute and he gave her that face. Bet she would have a lot to say about it also lol. But then she will go and continue to do it to others. Why? I feel its an ego and self esteem thing. Just like they say bullies pick on people because they have self esteem issues, I say the same for females like that.

Lets think about this now...later that night or another time...her exact words will be "You should have seen all the guys trying to get at me" or "I have all the guys chasing me and I don't want them". Its phrase and words like these that she uses to fill her mind up with the idea that all guys want her and she can do whatever she likes because he is "Bad".....then on the other hand she could be using it to build herself up. Girls that act like this....I actually want for them to go to guys and it happens to them. I personally do not feed egos. I see a female walking around like she thinks she's "It"....and I just ignore her. Not going to add to her ego at all. That's not my job.

I'm approached many times by females I am not attracted to, don't want for some reason, and even gay guys. What do I do? I hold a conversation and let them down easily. No point in being rude to someone just because they were attracted to you. Especially when we all try to do things to look more appealing to the opposite sex. So if I see a female walking down the street...a guy walks up to her to talk to her....she "Plays him" or is rude for no reason at all.....I don't blame him and won't stop him when he tells her about herself. Won't try to calm him down. And won't do anything but laugh. Even my sister and past girlfriends of mine...I will tell them to be nice and say "No thank you" or something that lets them down without being rude. Because guys will hit females if they are disrespectful. Not saying its right, just saying its reality.

So Ladies, next time a guy tries to talk to you or dance at a party....be nice. Or if he gets on you and start yelling, I will not blame him. Whether family, special female, or close friend. I don't approve of rude behavior that is uncalled for.

No You Can't See Through The Wall: True Blessings

This is a response to people that may get my post before confused:
Understand Where You Stand - My Support.

Some people look at the end and say its luck. Some look at the now and swear things were just handed to me. Others feel jealousy for what they weren't "given". Then there are those that see everything as a challenge. I'm one of the people that sees things as a challenge. I see everything as motivation. Things that will propel me or make me fight harder. Why have I been like this my whole life? Because I came up poor and my family had too much pride.

My mother looked at me when I got the job that I currently have.....and she called it luck. I can't remember the last time I wanted to fight my own mother lol. Nothing I have is luck. Everything I have....I worked hard to get it, with let downs and sacrifices. How did I get this job? Starts from my college days. 1st college, I worked full time while enrolled full time, but a miscommunication between a professor led to a failing grade which she was not able to take off. So the school I had planned on transferring to and dreamed about since middle school (Stony Brook), I was not able to attend. Transferred to Farmingdale State College because of financial problems and worked another job with full time hours while enrolled in school full time. After bad grades and a need to leave Long Island came.....I went to Univ at Albany.....*insert groovy music*

When at Farmingdale, I took 2 programming classes. First one....I got a C. Second one....I dropped. So here I was at UAlbany taking one...and what happens....I get a B+ (I never went to class, so that cut my grade from a A+). I asked the professor to take me on and tell me what I should be doing....he did and even better he allowed me to teach the course the very next semester. When that semester came...an email went out asking for a teaching assistant for a software class I never took and didn't know how to do....so what did I do? I told him to give me a book and trust me lol. I leapfrogged the entire class mid semester in order to teach them for the rest of the semester. Having this skill and language now on my resume, I won an internship with Computer Sciences Corporation (a company bigger than most people will ever know) for the summer. Worked full time while being a full time student that summer also. But passed everything with a 3.33 gpa for the summer semester.

Fall semester....more teaching lol. Took on teaching robots and more languages while taking 6 classes (3 of which were core). Spring semester...took 7 classes (one of which being a thesis and 3 of them being core classes), taught 2 (one of which I had to learn on the spot), studied and tested out of 2 courses so I could graduate on time (calculus 2 and 3), tutoring students and mentoring African American students in my department, being involved in events for my group (MSA ~ Muslim Student Association), while job hunting (being turned down by multiple companies) and maintaining a relationship (which was long distance). In other words.....I woke up...went to my PC every morning and began work....no real going out....and no real socializing, but was able to still see my friends and play video games with them. So you see why I don't like anyone calling my achievements...."Luck".

If you want to go before my college days and talk about me eating just rice and butter for dinner, we could. Lunch being just a slice of bologna with no bread....or we can talk about sandwiches consisting of bread and pancake syrup. My wardrobe being full of hand downs from my brother and extended family. Better yet, how about we discuss the beatings I would get from my parents for answering their math or reading questions wrong. Not being allowed to eat until you figure out how to read something given to you. Or the constant beating myself down (figuratively and literally) for not being a better student and smarter person. Slapping myself at night when alone because I couldn't solve a math problem. Then we can talk about how hard I worked in high school outside of the curriculum. Being on the Chemistry Olympiad team, going to teachers and asking for more work so my skills would grow. People think I'm some insanely smart person. NO!!!! I just have a special way of seeing problems and I work hard enough with what I was given. So I am blessed to be where I am. And blessed to have what I have.

Sidenote: My family and I have never been on ANY form of assistance whatsoever. My family is too proud to accept any gov't assistance. Whatever we didn't have.....we didn't have. End of story.

So Dont You Dare Call My Hard Work And Blessing "Luck"

See The Temptation On The RIght?: Juice

I went from being 160 in high school to 220 my freshman year of college.

I went from maxing out on a bench press at 115 or 135 and struggling...to putting up 229.

No juicing. No supplements. Just eating everything in sight, playing sports and working out. I worked in a gym my freshman year of college, so I was able to work, get paid, study for school/do homework, and I was set.

Then...I supplemented on and off. Last time was a year ago. Broke up with the girlfriend of 2.5 yrs and wanted to be bigger and in better shape. Would have gotten rid of stress and gave me a distraction. What happened?? School work. A major that calls for round the clock work and days of horrible eating and stress while something is due in 3 weeks. It broke my pattern and then I stopped going. What was I taking? Energy supplements, whey protein, and testosterone pills.

Now....I'm on and off this P90X workout. I keep slipping because of work and laziness. To work out, you need a pattern. Without that pattern, you fail. My problem is sticking to a pattern. And yes....I am supplementing right now. Same things as before, but now the best stuff on the market. What are the side effects of the testosterone pills? They say your balls shrink, but I never saw a change. They say mood swings and all type of stuff....my friends havent seen a difference. I guess that's why I feel its not fully working lol. Last time I was massive. Putting up weight I never did before. Like squatting 500lbs and doing 675lbs on the leg press. I guess I have get back on track with my juicing.

Did You See The Hint On The Wall: Black Coffee

"Black coffee no sugar no cream, that's the type of girl I need down on my team" ~ Heavy D

I remember writing poetry about this, giving presentations about this, discussions, debates, and just historical enlightening moments. And end of the day....its Twitter that made me realize a lot of things.

I can't count the many times I have seen dark skin females angry because someone told them they were cute for a dark skin girl. And I see their point entirely. I don't see shade of brown when I see a black women. Either I see something that goes with my preferences or I don't. Yet not everyone sees things that way. I can even sense the anger dark skin women feel. Then I see it carry over to people stating their preference. They are tired of dealing with this stereotype of dark skin females being less attractive, they when someone merely states their preference being for light skin females, that same anger comes out. When in reality it shouldn't. I spoke on this with someone the other day and she made a wonderful point. If a man comes to a dark skin woman and says his preference is for dark skin women....she's happy and feels special. That same man goes to her and says his preference is for light skin women, and she may be ready to start world war three in a grocery store. Why? She feels that pain of being put down again...and I don't blame her for it, but at the same time she is confused. That man, like everyone else has a preference (mine being towards dark skin females, but I am open to all ;-)), and she might have a thing for light skin dudes, does that mean I should be angry and upset over it? No. Its her choice. Especially when I love it when I hear females talk about dark skin guys with bald heads. I'm loving it lol. After growing up hating my complexion because of all the jokes and teasing...dark skin brothers are getting love no a days :-).

So ladies...light skin and dark skin....brothers.....light skin and dark skin....ignorant comments are not needed. A person can be beautiful no matter the shade. We all seen ugliness on both ends. Saying your preference is one thing...idiotic comments are another. But when you hear the preferences of another...why get upset? They like what they life. Plus, for me...you guys know I love my black coffee (even though in real life I hate actual black coffee...I need milk and sugar darnit lol).

Hard Left, Straight, Or Right Curl: The Waiting Present

So you're asking yourself....with a title like that...what the heck is he talking about lol. Well its a bit deeper into the maze.

What is this gift? I would say a boy's physical transition and its affect. Maybe you'll understand him a bit better.

How about we start with elementary school...from the dark skin jokes. The famous "African booty scratcher" to the personal jokes about being ugly. Or how about we talk about the short chubby kid that girls never liked. He had a crush on a girl for every grade in elementary school lol. Did he ever get anything from it? Nope. The kiddie parties he got to go to and the invites to hang out with the cool girls....did thatever happen? Nope. A kiss, a tease, a batter of the eyes, a smile, a smirk, we can go down the line....but did any of these occur? Not a single one. Closest thing to a kiss in those days was a girl's lips accidentally touching his ear as she whispered something to him on a moving train....of course he didnt forget though. So what would affect him worse....the laughs and the teasing....or being passed over by everything with long hair? Well to be honest....it was the jokes that made him suicidal at a young age. But it was the bench warming that made him see a world with no future.

We could move on to middle school if you want....where things did change. But "What?" you may be asking....well nothing other than the girls that were sloppy and didn't care about hygiene. They wanted him. But not at all did he succumb to these advances. He still had a pride that he wouldn't let diminish. But more girls were around him now and so he smiled more. Guess it was his cure for so many guys considering him the outcast. Yet their laughs would still scream out while the teacher made comments and a class clown would mention that boy's name. So what really changed? Well the first lips of a girl he was able to feel....On The Train......he had a puppy dog crush for her since and was able to finally speak it. Walked her home after school. Buying her lunch at their hangout spots. Long phone conversations at night creating crazy bills. The result? A number of excuses of why it can't work....the biggest that stuck being the fact that one of her sloppy friends liked him. Guess he couldn't catch a break huh. So what got to him worse here? The guys that would hang out with him on and off but still insult him? The girls that only saw him as a friend? Or could it be the fact that he heard laughs so often that he would expect it and know exactly when it would come each and every day? He can't tell you. He doesn't even know.

Maybe high school was better you say? Well it was. The jokes with his name in it stalled and died down...but all 4 yrs he expected it and amazed EVERY SINGLE TIME it Didn't happen. The guys.....they hung out with him. Grew friendships and bonds. The ladies.....still the friend for Most -__-. Anything changed? Yes. For more and more females liked him. He could be quoted saying "I feel like a kid in a candy store". Girlfriend after girlfriend with a number of girls to mess around with. Hundreds in his eyes, but it was only a few. Most still wanted him as just a friend. Still walking them home and long phone conversations leading no where. But there were a few that took a chance on him and this built his ego. Not in a bad way, but a good way. More confidence. Stood straight when he talked. Walked with a new demeanor. He owes it to one female specifically, but it was them all that needed thanks. But was it the start of a monster?

First college....he went wild that one year he was there. Trying to get all the upperclassmen females. He had a new cockiness to him while also knowing he couldn't stretch too far beyond his realm. Did he get the ladies he aimed for? Not a single one. Did he turn down Many for sex? Yes. He wasn't a whore lol. But this was followed by a summer of many conquests and numbers received. Did he care for these numbers? No.....but his ego very much did. Second college....failures that would plagued him and taunted him. But in the end he knew what it was....it was the words of females that had been honest with him...from years past..."You're not cute, but you're not ugly". So failure at his aims and success at his wants were all too common. So does this story end happily? No. For his biggest challenge in years was at hand.

The ugly Muslim......well what other title did he deserve? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And his girlfriend of 2.5 yrs accepted his transition...so did a few of the other females he cheated on her with. But the vote was in and elections passed.....he was considered ugly by the masses of females. Thick beard. Chubby. Kufi. Style of dress? Shorts and a t-shirt. Swagger? None and didn't care. Nothing mattered but religion, school, and his girl. The guys all loved him and considered him family. So he was set...right? Wrong. Breaking up with his girl and the one to follow....he grew tired of his beard. He removed the kufi because he couldn't find any he liked to wear at work.....he dressed better....he grew a level of confidence that came with success...he cared about his looks and females took notice. Those that once called him ugly retracted their statements...and now.....well now he goes up to any woman he chooses...knowing with the right words...she's his. So if you can tell by the transition that being happy in his self image was the gift that was waiting....then you lied to yourself....that is still a battle. But is he on the winning side? Yes. Excuse him though if you complement his looks...and he feels like a joke is being made or a line is being used to just make him feel better.