Care About My Maze?: So How Much Luggage Are You Checking?

Before I go in...let me state that this is the closest to my actual person life I've been on this blog. Its weird, but I felt there was something that could help females out there in the world....well at least entertain and create thought to those that read this blog anyways. Why don't I do it more often? Well people randomly tell me all the time that they read my blog. People I would have never expected. So excuse me if I am hesitant at times lol. Especially if what is in my head is about them. But what is this all about? Bringing baggage into a starting relationship.

So lets start with girl A since she was first. We began talking and off the back she isn't my type whatsoever, but we weren't initially thinking about dating anyways. Was just going to be a fun time. Then our long conversations turned into the feeling of 'Like' (which I can't see it getting anywhere past). And while my friends looked at me confused because I was talking about dating this female (just for the fun of it), one thing stood out about our conversations...She Kept Talking About Her Exes and Other Guys. Like seriously...why the heck do you think I would care? What do they have to do with me? Guys only need to know a couple things.

1, Why you guys broke up.
2, Do you talk now
3, Is there a chance of you guys getting back together.

And those questions don't need to be asked. They could just be found out with time. But there is no reason at all you need to be over there telling me on the phone about some other dude. I Don't Care. When she would talk about him, I would ignore the entire thing. Till this day I don't know what happened with them except for a pregnancy issue she keeps talking about. Other than that....I zone the hell out lol. I honestly don't even know why they broke up, but that is because of me zoning out so much. She would talk about other sexual partners she had and about the list of guys she gave a title to or had them eat her out. And here we are talking about being a couple and dating. Why the heck do I need this info??

As I write this, it makes me think about my last girlfriend...who would do the same exact thing, except even worse. She would come to me about the guys she's been with sexually and give details. Like what giving head to one guy was like and how it smelled. She would tell me all kinds of things about the dudes before me. And I would shut her down immediately each time and remind her that I don't care and that it made her sound like a hoe. Did I use that word? I don't think I did. I might have been nicer. But over time of hearing this stuff, that word did pop out of my mouth. I don't need to know what every guy you been with feels like inside you...I don't want to hear about how they all thought your "pu**y was the best" or how your head game always made them cum. You are only digging a deeper hole for yourself.

But that brings me to girl B. She was new. Things only lasted a bit over a week with her. Text conversations went well. She called me refreshing and said it was great to be talking to me. She was cool, so I basically said the same back. Ladies, know that if you compliment me, I will prob just compliment you back or use your own compliment on you. Do I mean it? Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not big on compliments. Our first date...I can't even count how many references she made about her exes. She talked on and on about her past relationships. From being engaged to thinking some guy was the one and not being able to see herself in love like that with any other guy. And the countless dudes she thought she would marry or end up with turning out to be flops. She would even go into telling me how many guys she know that have been hitting her up for sex lately. Doesn't help that we started following each other on twitter and she keeps talking about her ex lately and how guys hurt her (I didn't notice that stuff beforehand, or I would have never went out with her). But what did I do on the date? I ignored that crap. I don't care about the last dude. Why are you telling me about your past relationships? Do you think I really care?? I keep repeating these questions because I'm confused as to why females do this. No One Cares Or Wants To Hear It. So after spending time with her another day and hearing more crap about other guys and needing someone different...she told me she was "sorry for leading me on, but not ready for a relationship right now". I bust out laughing when I got that text. Why? Because I had already really had her in the friend zone. It was really a lie on her part because of her multiple signs of her telling me I was someone she wanted to continue things with (from us talking about being more physical, her counting out how many dates we been on or will go on, making future plans for us, telling me she wanted to take things slow with me or how great I was doing with her, and giving me pointers to what will have her put up a wall). But what was wrong with her that she was in the friend zone? I don't know a hardcore answer...but that stuff about other guys definitely didn't help her outlook to me lol.

Basically people...no one wants to hear about your baggage. I have a lot of females in my past. But that's the past. I keep them there. UNLESS you ask me about them, I will only disclose my very last relationship and ONLY say why we broke up or why I'm single. I've met COUNTLESS females that talk about exes. Age doesn't matter with that. I was just talking to a 30 year old female talking about the same thing on the phone (and one of her exes being Terrell Owens, who's now on the Cincinnati Bengals) . She went on and on about past relationships and went into complaining about her job for 15 minutes. More stuff that's unattractive and don't want around me. Your stuff from your last relationship does not need to be in your new relationship. Either keep it to yourself and try to move on or forget it in the past somehow.

Please...check your baggage before doing anything else. And if you have too much, that's not a good look either. No person wants someone that brings way too much with them. Especially when you're just getting to know one another. I thought everyone knew this. I thought everyone knew not to go on and on about exes though lol. The things you learn in the dating scene.

Try New Search Algorithms: Is Online Dating The Magic Gateway?

I just read a statistic that shows 1/8 marriages last year were from couples who met online. The funny thing about this is...a lot of the people I have met in recent years have been from online. I've made some great friends from Twitter and even had a girlfriend that I met from there. My oldest brother met and married a women he met off Match.com. One of my most important relationships ever was hooked up by a mutual friend after I saw her friend on Facebook. The closest person to me now in Michigan, I met when she hit me up online. And till this day I periodically have multiple phone numbers sent to me from females online that want to hang out and be friends, and some for more than just that. As a matter of fact, I recently went out a date with a girl from twitter. We did decide to be friends though.

But what am I getting at? With the invention of Myspace, which everyone knows is just a spot to find people to hook up with, and the invention of Facebook and Twitter, outlets for staying in contact with people while meeting new and cool people, the world is becoming more internet based. We can have a whole conversation and never say a word to one another. We could keep in contact with one another and never have to reach for a phone or a pen. We are in a world where there are 1,001 ways to be in contact with one another and so why wouldn't this be true.

Some feel that meeting people online is strange and weird. Especially someone to hook up with or maybe go into a relationship with. I honestly don't. Maybe because I'm such a technology person or because I'm a guy without fear of being raped lol. But honestly, there isn't much difference when meeting someone that could be crazy and you meet them in a mall or on a school campus. So what do I say to this new statistic....congrats to those people who found love and are now married. That's it really. Not much I could say. I'm happy for them and hope things work out. I actually saw two groups of people taking pictures after their weddings. Did they meet online? Who knows. But there are tons of ways to meet online. Whether because it was an intention while using e-harmony or by accident while having a debate over a friend's status on Facebook.

My point is...you never know where you will meet the one. So why limit yourself nowadays. But do be careful, some people are uglier than what their pictures show lol. Advancements in technology also means more ways to lie to you.

No Solution? Well Who's Fault?: Female Complaints On Dating

I have been lucky enough to meet females from all walks of life and dated women from lawyers to girls that worked in sneaker stores.....that's if they even had a job. And currently speaking to someone unlike anyone I have ever dated before and the thought of it is striking to us both. But what am I here to say? I've dated around and feel as if I know a thing or two about the dating scene. So there are a few things about dating I feel I should talk about in this post. Let jump right into it....

"Guys don't want to work and pursue a female anymore."

Maybe the reason for this is because in today's age....a guy can have all the good things that come from getting a female.....but do half the work (sometimes even less that than) that he would have to years ago. Sex is 1000% easier to get. I can call a female up and ask her to cook for me (which I have done). I can ask females to clean my place (which I have done). And a lot of the females in my generation (from what I have seen myself, heard from friends, and see online) aren't even worth the "work" to be put in for them. Or maybe that's because I have high standards. Nevertheless...I admit guys put in less work than in the past, but that is because things also take less work. Want a guy to work harder? Make him.

"Guys don't want to take us out on dates anymore...they just want to go hang out or sit around in a crib."

Quick solution....tell a guy to take you out on a date if he wants to go further. If you allow a guy to not take you out or just have sex with him and then wonder why you guys never go out....who fault is that? Be smart about what you do and allow.

"Chivalry is dead."

First off.....are you traditional? If you're not...then sit down and read a book or something. We don't care what you think. That's like a robber calling a thief a criminal....when you're both criminals. Is it dead? No. Is your choice of guys off? Maybe. Are you putting yourself around guys that don't care about that stuff (whether friend or lover)?? Maybe. What's the solution?.......choose the people you're around better. Many of the guys I am around are chivalrous.

"I can't find a good man."

Are you looking in the right places? Are you looking at all? Are you open to different things? What kind of image or attitude are you giving off? Are you sitting at home and waiting for a random phone call? What do you consider a "good man"? If for any of these questions you got upset, used any curse word to answer, answered out loud lol, or got a bit excited while talking in your head......then yeah...... it might just be you.

"Guys only go for the girls that are hoes."

 Honestly, just worry about your own. If you stop and keep thinking about why the next female is getting guys and not you...you could possible end up doing something that isn't you and ends up looking unattractive. If her trick is putting herself out there as open for sex with guys....then she isn't going to find love so easily in the end (can't turn a hoe into a housewife, but many have tried). So keep being you and hopefully things work out.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. 

~Bill Maher

Do You Know How Long You Been Trapped?: I Dont Want To Know

I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday about the epic question while getting to know someone and in that "Talking" phase...."Are you talking/dating anyone else" *insert thunder and horror music*.

I'm currently pursuing a woman at a distance who happens to be older than me...and I refuse to ask her the big question right now. Why you say?

1, Most times older women feel they have needs that have to be fulfilled. And i don't want to hear the news that she is seeing someone or even further.

2, If she answers that she's messing with other guys....that means I will have this vision in my head of guy X....and every man in the world hates guy X. He's the guy we think is having sex with our girl or female we really care for.

3, If she's not seeing anyone, does that mean I shouldn't try to talk to other females? That's a big decision to make at my age and with a distance.

 4, Most importantly, we just started getting to know one another. That's a question you ask when things are getting pretty serious. And its not at that point as yet....but I do like her. She's very much what I would want in a woman at my side.

 So maybe I'm over-thinking, or maybe I'm right on the dot. Either way...I hope to continue getting to know her. And definitely want to see where things go. BUT.....not asking about her other ventures until serious times are upon us lol. Wish me luck. No man wants to ask too early, come on too strong, or even start something he isn't ready for.

Do You Really Want To Make That Turn: The Single Mothers Story

No....no....no....this is not going to be about how much anger I have for single mothers. I actually have a lot of admiration for the single mothers THAT ARE DOING A GOOD JOB. Its a tough job being a parent much less a single one. I know there is a lot of self conflict that can come up with a child for not having a mother or father in their life, but for the people that are out there doing it, doing it right, and then on top of that not leaving the child with any internal scars.....thank you. I love seeing people battle against statistics and "Rules" to be a standout. Great job to you guys.

What this is about though is my thoughts on dating a single mother. The Good.....The Bad.....and The Ugly. That's what I think of it. I mean come on now, I am 23 and would like to meet a good young woman, but so many of the females I am seeing have kids already. Nothing wrong with making the decision to have a child. Children are blessings. Thank you for giving life and doing what God wanted you to do (BUT ONLY THE GOOD MOTHERS). But there is a lot that comes with that child and I have met a lot of single mothers that are holding up the true title of Woman...while handling their business as a mother.....BUT are single at the end of the day. Maybe its because some guys feel the way I do. How do I feel? Well let me share....

The Good

From the females that I have met, they are ready to settle down and have a full family together. Why do they make this decision? I guess because they still want that FULL family feel. Which I can't blame. We all want that at the end of the day. You hear females scream that they can be a single parent and be set for life.....that's her really screaming....I'm angry I dont have the father her....but she wants a good man in the picture. So if a guy is ready to start a family (this one is instant family), be a part of one....or even find a woman that has the traits he would want the mother of his kids to have (which she should have by now as a mother already) then its great for him.

The Bad

A lot of things can just not be right. The kids might not like the guy. The friends might feel a strong connection with the situation the woman is in and might not approve of the guy period. The man might not want to take on such responsibilities as yet in his life. He could want to start his own family instead of jumping into one already up and running. The concepts and situations with this situation can be bad in many ways.

The Ugly: My opinion on the matter when it comes to me in that situation

Unless there are certain things covered....I refuse to be in that situation. One of the more important....how much is the father of the kids in the life. Lets be real about this....having a child together is a life long connection. No matter what happens with the child or the relationship between the two partners. And a lot of the time.....when a person has a child with someone else....they feel as if that person still kinda belongs to them. So the chance of them having sex even if they are not in a relationship is higher than if he was just some guy the female dated. If there is no sex, there is still the chance of drama. I stay away from drama. I'm too young to stress about anyone or anything. I like just living my life. Another issue for me...we are starting a relationship and getting to know one another....and a child just adds to the complication. The "Getting to know you period" is sensitive enough without any other factors. I rather not deal with that. And the last of the top issues I have with it....I don't want to have to deal with a child right now. Some females don't want you being a father figure anyways, but I would still have to be around the child some time. I love children, but not trying to have to deal with that in my life right now. Rather keep things simple and easy and see where it goes.

The Right Turn Is An Illusion: This Dating Scene

Michigan, Oh Michigan....why did you have to trap me?

I could be doing so many things in New York right now. With beautiful women at every turn of a corner and all open to new things.....I'm stuck in Michigan -__-. Are there beautiful women here................I guess lol. I'm joking. There are some good looking girls here. But for some reason I end up in college town. Girls in college are not the group I really want to be going for (except for some fun nights with not much of anything else). Am I bad mouthing college girls? No. But the generic college girl is just about having a good time. Do I blame her? No. Have fun while you're not in the real world as yet. BUT....what do I want...fun with a bit more than just just fun. I realized after speaking with a friend of mine what I want right now.....nothing serious...just Friends with Benefits for most and for the ONE female I TOLD I was pursuing....something more...... but our distance has a lot to do with what our future holds.

Nevertheless....everyone thinks I am bagging numbers like clock work and have tons of girls coming in and out of my crib. Well someone needs to introduce me to this lifestyle people think I'm having lol. And its not like I lie about things. I openly say I'm not seeing many females right now. Do I get numbers? Yeah, now and again. Do I go on dates and have females come over? Yeah, now and again. But nothing like what people think. Then I am questioned repeatedly by people about who my current girlfriend is? Who I am seeing? What's my love life like right now? And on and on and on. Truth is.....I rarely see a female outside that fits what I like. Then chances are we are on a packed bus where we get off at different stops.

People warned me about the dating scene out here in Michigan for people outside of college....and I agree...not complaining....but its does suck lol. So this is me telling everyone....I'm single until further notice. And yes....I do cut off females and delete numbers all the time. I'm not desperate at all. So why not?

Left Turn or Right Turn: The Trojan Horse

So I was just put in #TwitterJail after posting about what I hate seeing on Twitter. But to cancel any of your thoughts....I don't follow these people....they get Retweeted on my timeline. I hate...when people come on twitter and start acting as if they know everything about relationships.....but only talk about what guys do wrong......like females are these heavenly creatures that are without sin. Screw that. I get on both males and females.

Guys Mess Up. Females Mess Up.

I think these guys that are sucking up to these females all day long about how they should be cherish all the time, taken care of, treated like Queens......and Some How magically put up with these guys that just all treat them badly....BUT...don't forget that they are not like other guys. They "Treat Women Right" and "Respect Women".

Now me...I am a gentleman. I know how to treat a woman right, cherish her, give her what she needs and want she wants (if its reasonable)....BUT...that is ONLY if she DESERVES IT....which a lot of females (not saying most) don't...and I don't sit on Twitter all day long and just tweet about how much females have to deal with because guys are such pricks and horrible people. Why the heck would I do that to all guys?? I know for a fact that there are tons of Men out there that are great people. Some of which are good friends of mine. The problem??

• It takes a certain mature mind for a woman to truly want, desire, go looking for, and stick with a Strong Minded Good Man. A lot of females CLAIM they want a good man, but then in reality go to the bad boys and complain about it. Why is that even an issue?? Enough females go around complaining about guys treating them badly...it begins the idea running around and now the "truth" to some delusional females.

• Females that go with good guys and not ready for them....the good guy ends up with the problems. How so?? Well this is easy since I know from experience lol....but when a female is not ready for her Prince Charming...she adds uncalled for stress, drama, and problems to that Man's life. So what do some guys choose to do? Go to the bad guy side. It's way easier and actually more fun in the long run. Why I don't do it? I know right from wrong and can't allow myself to go the other route.

• Females show by action what kind of guy they want. Their words say one thing...their actions say they want the dude that is going to lie to them, treat them badly, and etc. How so?? They go for those guys and when things go wrong...they go back to them...complain....then go back to them. If a female says she wants a man that is going to give her the world...but then mess with Jon Jon from the block that has 2 baby mommas and no job....what do you think other guys are going to do? So more dudes convert over and the ones that stay are not in the light because they are passed over anyways.

In addition...I have seen woman do horrible things to guys. From the new trend of having sex or giving head to a guy while her boyfriend is on the phone to the all too common Maury paternity test where the guy finds out his cousin is the father of what was his child while she swore they never had sex. What's my point?....We all mess up. We all do things that hurt others. We all get our heart broken and have to do something to recover. So blaming guys for every problem females have or getting on guys all day long for what they put females through....its just a way for them to get sex. Yup. I said it. #TeamGentleman on Twitter is mostly guys wanting to just get sex by tweeting about how good they are to females and all this crap.....BUT..in reality....they are just doing it for money (ads, which they do all the time) and sex (from females that melt over every tweet when some of them are made by bots lol). So next time you retweet that crap on my timeline...think about what you are doing....not just on twitter.....but in your own life. Maybe you're one of the females in the bullet points.