You Don't Want Help Do You?: The Independence Lies

"The shoes on my feet - I bought 'em
The clothes I'm wearing - I bought 'em
The rock I'm rockin' - I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch I'm wearin' - I bought it
The house I live in - I bought it
The car I'm driving - I bought it
I depend on me"
~ Independent Women Part 1, Destiny's Child

I think this is where it started. This was the foundation of the "I'm an Independent Woman" revolution. Now I'm all for women empowering themselves, feeling better about their lives, and working hard to be someone. No problem with that at all. But while I say that, I feel there are a lot of situations and events that was caused by this movement that caused things in society to go awry. I know what you're thinking...he is about to go and  bash women. No. Not at all. I love women that are truly independent. But that being said...I think people have a confusion as to what is independence, semi-independence, and dependence  or dependent and living with your parents but having a Burger King job to pay your cell phone bill and saying you're grown and independent. Well what are the definitions you ask? I will be gladly to share.

Based on the Webster's Dictionary:

Independence: "Not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)."

Semi-Independence: "Partially independent."

Dependent: "Relying on another for support (children)."

What is the confusion exactly? Because Destiny's Child said "All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and no one wants to feel left out and the odd ball, so every girl joined in and was jumping to be that independent women. Problem is...a lot of the females claiming independence, are in fact...semi-independent at most. Why? Well based on the actual definition of the word...you should not require dependence on anyone. But based on who I'm seeing call themselves independent, they're really just girls with a little bit of money in their pocket. They shout independence, but yet only can cover a small personal bill and new jeans now and again.

Lets make some examples....first lets bring up Rachelle. She's a bright young girl, intern at an accounting firm. She screams "I'm independent, everything I have I bought it. I got my own money"....but lets go deeper...she lives at home and her shopping sprees are covered by her father. That's NOT independence. How about Lisa, she is a bit young and has a job at Subways, but has her own crib and her father doesn't pay for anything...yet her boyfriend covers the bills since Lisa only makes enough to be ghetto fabulous. We can even visit Casey. She lives alone at home with her mom....the rest don't even matter. She's not independent. And college students are just as dependent as anyone else in these examples

See my points here? We are not even mentioning the females that say they are independent with a work study job and their parents pay all their bills. But you will still hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that she does everything on her own lol. And let's not go into the case of the girl that gets on guys because of what they are lacking, yet her daddy bought her car and pampers her with all her clothes and accessories. I can say I've seen the last example 1,001 times lol.

So what's my point here? There is nothing wrong with being young and semi-independent. Nothing wrong with being young and dependent. Whether parents, boyfriends, or just family members, its ok (until you get older, then its sad). They are there to lend a helping hand and in some situations a crutch. But at the same time...don't lie to yourself and others. Me? Everything I own...I bought. My bills covered by me. And I've lived on my own for years now. You don't hear me screaming "I'm independent". But damn Destiny's Child for starting a movement that cause females to lie to themselves even more than usual (which was then upstaged by Beyonce's 'Girls' song). 

Some of you are saying "Well they have to fake it till you make it", well I agree with that ideal to a point. What is that point? Where you're lying to yourself about the truth and getting on others because of it. So next time you see a woman saying she refuses to let a man be the head of the household...hear a female yelling at men about what she has because she feels someone cares...think about this song...and think about all the females that are in this movement lying to themselves...and paying the price because of it. What is the price? That's a long post in itself lol. Maybe one day though.

So is this a case of a female feeling independent or a black female fed up? Since we don't know the background....its a toss up.

Searching For The Next Move Wont Help: God's The Answer?

I've come to a conclusion these days...people expect for everything to be solved with God and religion. Is this actually true that it will? No. If you know me, you would know that I am a very religious Muslim man. I praise God and thank him daily for all that he has done for me and my family. We're very blessed. But that being said...even during times of poverty, sadness, and whatever else the world throws at people to have them in a state of needing an answer...we prayed to God for help in doing what we needed to do and went out and did it ourselves hoping he would be there. But what is the main point there? That we didn't use God as a crutch or to put everything on him, like he's going to magically come down and throw us a million dollars with some answers to questions.

And that's what I think is wrong today with some of the people out there. Not to mention the nuts in these mega-churches that think the pastor/reverend is some kind of messiah or prophet. Can someone explain to me when it became God's job to fix your relationship or take you out of your situation? That's crazy talk to me. I say God is there in order to guide us in the right direction, not to come from the sky with baby milk since you spent the money on the club. Yes, I know there are tons of families out there in bad situations because of chance or life...but that still doesn't give them a reason to go and put everything in hopes that God will save them without them putting in some work also. Pastors say it all the time, "God helps those that help themselves". Putting all your cards on God while holding your weed in one hand, a bottle of Ciroc in the other, and crying about not being able to make it out the projects after losing your job and not having enough money to pay the mortgage instead of doing your best to solve the issue (even if it includes filling for Bankruptcy) is what will lead to a long line of living on the edge. Once saw a woman with a kid on True Life (on MTV)...her income (which was only from child support) couldn't pay all of her bills (though she lived alone instead searching for someone to live with). How did she manage? She would randomly end up with money each month from different sources. How long can you last like that?

When i was younger, I heard someone say that Christianity is the poor man's religion. When you think about such a statement, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that so many Americans are Christians (from all kinds of economic levels). Then you might stop and think...hold on...are we considering Christianity to be all sects, or are we diving them up? I know I don't consider Catholics to be the same (especially after going to a Catholic church). But then you think about all the people in low income neighborhoods that rely on God for everything. Makes you wonder why the ratio of higher economic people are in churches less often and talk about it less...or is it just based on the specific cultures they belong to. And honestly, I agree....Christianity is the poor man's religion. I can go on for days making little points about why, but that will end will an extra long post lol. Think about it yourself and tell me what you think. Does religion (all religions included) give an excuse for people in bad situations to stay there? Is it a way for people to pass the blame of their situation and what has happened to them? Or is it just the personality of those individuals all wrong??

Wonder how real or valid the below pictures are....? And if they are valid, I see a connection between economy and religion lol

Story Time (By memory): There once was a woman that was lost at sea in a small boat. Away from everyone and no way to call for help, she waited for a sign from God. A ship came by and saw her in need of help. She told him : "No thank you, God is coming to help me and will provide a sign". The ship left along with the crew. Another ship came and saw her. When they came close, she told them: "No thank you. I'll be ok. God will save me and show me a sign". As time passed...the woman died. When she got to heaven she asked God: "Hey, I was in need of your help, why didn't you save me or show me a sign?". Then God replied: "I did send you signs, I sent two ships that wanted to save you."

Did You Really Enter The Maze?: The Lal Bihari Experience

So I know its been forever, and I just got out the gym, but I thought it was about time I wrote a new post. Like always, my mind has tons of things to talk about, but I slack when it comes to actually putting it all out there. So here I am...A friend of mine and a reader of this blog told me about a topic she wanted me to cover. What is it? Lal Bihari. I know what you're thinking...who or what is that lol. Well I didn't know at first either. And I think she did it in order to see how my mind will attack suck a thing. Or maybe just to open up the idea to you guys.

Lal Bihari was a simple farmer with an outrageous story. Where does it really start? With his own uncle paying off some government official in India to write him off as deceased in order to get his land lol. Of all things. And he didn't even know until he hit up a bank for a loan. Imagine that conversation lol. I would have been in shock and aw...after causing a riot of course and starting a fire of course. So what did he do? He did something that I feel only a few people would do...he didn't go after his uncle to kill him or go to the police as the only resort....he started the Association of the Dead (Mritak Sangh). It was a coalition of people that this very same thing happened to. Maybe not for the reason of land or officials being paid off, but it had a hundred members when he started, and now has over twenty thousand.

What the hell has to be going on in India for that to be happening lol. First thing an American would be thinking...well they have an unorganized system and so many people, its easy to see how people can easily go missing or "dead" lol. Well it is what i was thinking about. I mean, how the heck would I feel if I was "dead" and walking around thinking everything was fine....wait....you know what that means....no school loans lol. I would do it. In. A. Heart. Beat. But then again I wouldn't have the ability to vote (while Bihari actually ran in an election to prove he was alive).

I guess this just shows us something...when the world gives you lemons...you organize all the lemon holders and fight against the powers that allowed you to be given those damn lemons to begin with lol. find a way to make the best of it (not going to say lemonade since its hard to make a good lemonade). I must say though...you have to respect a man that wouldn't stop trying. Especially when his death can only be categorized at some time within a 18 year span.

This is the face of a man that literally faced death and won lol

No You Can't See Through The Wall: True Blessings

This is a response to people that may get my post before confused:
Understand Where You Stand - My Support.

Some people look at the end and say its luck. Some look at the now and swear things were just handed to me. Others feel jealousy for what they weren't "given". Then there are those that see everything as a challenge. I'm one of the people that sees things as a challenge. I see everything as motivation. Things that will propel me or make me fight harder. Why have I been like this my whole life? Because I came up poor and my family had too much pride.

My mother looked at me when I got the job that I currently have.....and she called it luck. I can't remember the last time I wanted to fight my own mother lol. Nothing I have is luck. Everything I have....I worked hard to get it, with let downs and sacrifices. How did I get this job? Starts from my college days. 1st college, I worked full time while enrolled full time, but a miscommunication between a professor led to a failing grade which she was not able to take off. So the school I had planned on transferring to and dreamed about since middle school (Stony Brook), I was not able to attend. Transferred to Farmingdale State College because of financial problems and worked another job with full time hours while enrolled in school full time. After bad grades and a need to leave Long Island came.....I went to Univ at Albany.....*insert groovy music*

When at Farmingdale, I took 2 programming classes. First one....I got a C. Second one....I dropped. So here I was at UAlbany taking one...and what happens....I get a B+ (I never went to class, so that cut my grade from a A+). I asked the professor to take me on and tell me what I should be doing....he did and even better he allowed me to teach the course the very next semester. When that semester came...an email went out asking for a teaching assistant for a software class I never took and didn't know how to do....so what did I do? I told him to give me a book and trust me lol. I leapfrogged the entire class mid semester in order to teach them for the rest of the semester. Having this skill and language now on my resume, I won an internship with Computer Sciences Corporation (a company bigger than most people will ever know) for the summer. Worked full time while being a full time student that summer also. But passed everything with a 3.33 gpa for the summer semester.

Fall semester....more teaching lol. Took on teaching robots and more languages while taking 6 classes (3 of which were core). Spring semester...took 7 classes (one of which being a thesis and 3 of them being core classes), taught 2 (one of which I had to learn on the spot), studied and tested out of 2 courses so I could graduate on time (calculus 2 and 3), tutoring students and mentoring African American students in my department, being involved in events for my group (MSA ~ Muslim Student Association), while job hunting (being turned down by multiple companies) and maintaining a relationship (which was long distance). In other words.....I woke up...went to my PC every morning and began work....no real going out....and no real socializing, but was able to still see my friends and play video games with them. So you see why I don't like anyone calling my achievements...."Luck".

If you want to go before my college days and talk about me eating just rice and butter for dinner, we could. Lunch being just a slice of bologna with no bread....or we can talk about sandwiches consisting of bread and pancake syrup. My wardrobe being full of hand downs from my brother and extended family. Better yet, how about we discuss the beatings I would get from my parents for answering their math or reading questions wrong. Not being allowed to eat until you figure out how to read something given to you. Or the constant beating myself down (figuratively and literally) for not being a better student and smarter person. Slapping myself at night when alone because I couldn't solve a math problem. Then we can talk about how hard I worked in high school outside of the curriculum. Being on the Chemistry Olympiad team, going to teachers and asking for more work so my skills would grow. People think I'm some insanely smart person. NO!!!! I just have a special way of seeing problems and I work hard enough with what I was given. So I am blessed to be where I am. And blessed to have what I have.

Sidenote: My family and I have never been on ANY form of assistance whatsoever. My family is too proud to accept any gov't assistance. Whatever we didn't have.....we didn't have. End of story.

So Dont You Dare Call My Hard Work And Blessing "Luck"

Understand Where You Stand: My Support System

I advocate everyone to get a supporting cast. Whether they are all on your level or better than you. But get a team. Someone to be in your corner at all times and have internal competitions with. I love my team and my family. They help me so much....mostly in ways they don't even know about.

My Team
Made up of 5 other guys that I met and grew up with from high school. We all kept in contact, most of which has been through Facebook and by phone. I don't remember the official start of my team, but very happy at how things turned out for us. Titus, is a Project Manager at CBS and handles all new shows and pilots. Brennan has his degree in Criminal Justice from RIT and shipping off to the Air Force in the next two months. Branden is a father of two and working as an Electrician in Manhattan/Queens. Ilbert, the latest addition, has his degree and going for another in Graphic Design at FIT, a brother of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc., doing freelance graphics for companies and currently interning with a company in Manhattan. Michael, he's finishing up his degree in Accounting/Economics at Univ of Buffalo and working at HSBC handling the bills and claims processed by his sector. And me.....I'm just me lol. No worries about that. But I love those guys. They give me the much needed competition and reminders I need that success is not given, but earned.


My Family
My sister is cut throat. She will be the first to tell you about yourself. She will bite her tongue for no one. Man....Woman....Groups of people....officials....my sister will not back down from you....even though she's just 5'5 or something lol. But I love that about her. She has multiple degrees in the field of biology and working as a study coordinator for cancer research at a well known hospital in New York City. My brother also has multiple degrees in Sociology and Radiology (which he tried to convince me to get into). He's a hustler and a hard working man. He took me under his wing growing up and was a father to me. Taught me most of the lessons I know today....even the ones I had to burn my hand to have it really set in. But he's a radiologist at another well known hospital in New York City. My eldest sibling....I didn't fully grow up with him since he wasn't always around. But he is one of the smartest people I know.....wait.....correction...he is the smartest person I know lol. He told me many things growing up that I didn't want to listen to because we are in separate generations, but as time went on....I learned how much I should have listened and learned. The great thing is....I have him in my life to help me grow in my career and with my financial decisions in life. He has about four degrees. A degree from college in Jamaica (our home country and where we were all born), two degrees in Industrial Engineering, and his MBA. So of course he went from being an engineer and working for top companies to landing in Oregon. I don't know when...since it was news to me....but he went and converted over to the field of marketing. I respect it completely and wish him the best. I definitely want my finances like his though. I even finally told him of a internal competition I have with him. Basically....I want to start making 6 figures before he did it. My aim....when I'm 30. Wish me luck. 

And don't be confused, everyone in this picture has angered me in some way shape or form, but the main point is that they stuck by me and I stuck by them. My Team and My Family........it shouldn't make you feel any other way than angry. Why anger? Either because you don't have a support system like mine and you feel you need to beat me out.....OR....you feel yours is better and feel you need to put me even further behind you in the race to success and just shut me up. You choose. But I'm just here to inspire.