You Don't Want Help Do You?: The Independence Lies

"The shoes on my feet - I bought 'em
The clothes I'm wearing - I bought 'em
The rock I'm rockin' - I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch I'm wearin' - I bought it
The house I live in - I bought it
The car I'm driving - I bought it
I depend on me"
~ Independent Women Part 1, Destiny's Child

I think this is where it started. This was the foundation of the "I'm an Independent Woman" revolution. Now I'm all for women empowering themselves, feeling better about their lives, and working hard to be someone. No problem with that at all. But while I say that, I feel there are a lot of situations and events that was caused by this movement that caused things in society to go awry. I know what you're thinking...he is about to go and  bash women. No. Not at all. I love women that are truly independent. But that being said...I think people have a confusion as to what is independence, semi-independence, and dependence  or dependent and living with your parents but having a Burger King job to pay your cell phone bill and saying you're grown and independent. Well what are the definitions you ask? I will be gladly to share.

Based on the Webster's Dictionary:

Independence: "Not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)."

Semi-Independence: "Partially independent."

Dependent: "Relying on another for support (children)."

What is the confusion exactly? Because Destiny's Child said "All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and no one wants to feel left out and the odd ball, so every girl joined in and was jumping to be that independent women. Problem is...a lot of the females claiming independence, are in fact...semi-independent at most. Why? Well based on the actual definition of the word...you should not require dependence on anyone. But based on who I'm seeing call themselves independent, they're really just girls with a little bit of money in their pocket. They shout independence, but yet only can cover a small personal bill and new jeans now and again.

Lets make some examples....first lets bring up Rachelle. She's a bright young girl, intern at an accounting firm. She screams "I'm independent, everything I have I bought it. I got my own money"....but lets go deeper...she lives at home and her shopping sprees are covered by her father. That's NOT independence. How about Lisa, she is a bit young and has a job at Subways, but has her own crib and her father doesn't pay for anything...yet her boyfriend covers the bills since Lisa only makes enough to be ghetto fabulous. We can even visit Casey. She lives alone at home with her mom....the rest don't even matter. She's not independent. And college students are just as dependent as anyone else in these examples

See my points here? We are not even mentioning the females that say they are independent with a work study job and their parents pay all their bills. But you will still hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that she does everything on her own lol. And let's not go into the case of the girl that gets on guys because of what they are lacking, yet her daddy bought her car and pampers her with all her clothes and accessories. I can say I've seen the last example 1,001 times lol.

So what's my point here? There is nothing wrong with being young and semi-independent. Nothing wrong with being young and dependent. Whether parents, boyfriends, or just family members, its ok (until you get older, then its sad). They are there to lend a helping hand and in some situations a crutch. But at the same time...don't lie to yourself and others. Me? Everything I own...I bought. My bills covered by me. And I've lived on my own for years now. You don't hear me screaming "I'm independent". But damn Destiny's Child for starting a movement that cause females to lie to themselves even more than usual (which was then upstaged by Beyonce's 'Girls' song). 

Some of you are saying "Well they have to fake it till you make it", well I agree with that ideal to a point. What is that point? Where you're lying to yourself about the truth and getting on others because of it. So next time you see a woman saying she refuses to let a man be the head of the household...hear a female yelling at men about what she has because she feels someone cares...think about this song...and think about all the females that are in this movement lying to themselves...and paying the price because of it. What is the price? That's a long post in itself lol. Maybe one day though.

So is this a case of a female feeling independent or a black female fed up? Since we don't know the background....its a toss up.

How Do You Know Your Future Path?: Private Schools Vs Public Schools

Now this is something that I have talked about a couple times lately with friends and seen many people discuss. Also saw a number of wonderful documentaries talking about the U.S. school system and the success behind charter schools. So what am I here to say to you all? That my kids...will never go to a public school lol. And here's why: *Be warned, many stereotypes and generalizations are about to occur*

So lets start with public schools. Went to them my entire life and even for college. What's the problem with these public schools?

• The teachers. Not all of them, but I knew of many teachers that didn't care. Especially when teachers get their tenure lol. There is even a show coming out called Bad Teachers that covers this. Teachers get tenure and CAN NOT BE FIRED WHATSOEVER. So what happens to them? They are moved to another school or go through a slap on the wrist punishment.
• Violence. A lot of bad kids (yes, I believe in there being bad kids) end up just going to their zone schools. So a number of students from the wrong neighborhoods ends up with James bringing a gun to school (which happened in my high school and I had beef with James, so happy he was caught). And yes, it can happen in a private school...but how many fights and out of order issues do you think happen between the two?
• Education. The most important one. We all know that the education system we have is horrible. There are tricks used to fix and work around this. One of which being longer school days, incorporating technology, and the simplest...creating person relationships with students.
• Possibilities. Now anything can happen anywhere. But with less attention being given to students, the possibilities are endless. We all know about the girls giving head in the back hallways and on the staircases. I remember in the 7th grade, I would hang out with girls every day in the back staircase instead of going to lunch.

Problems with private/charter schools:

• The biggest issue I hear are the other students there are snobby...but I rather my kid have to be around snobby kids he can ignore or grow to want to beat out in life, then around kids that just want to hang out and do nothing.
• The girls end up going wild. And you telling me Shaquetta from M.S. 234 wasn't just on the block prostituting? People with that remark make it seem like girls in public schools don't end up wild and slutty. Some worse since they have less opportunities.

Though I made it a good distance with a public school education, don't be fooled...I know I would be ten times better off if I had a private school education. My biggest problem now that I'm working on is my vocabulary. I remember testing to go into a special middle school and got in, but my parents couldn't afford it. Then for high school, I barely missed the score needed to get into a school for science and math. Had a girlfriend that went there, she told me universities would come and they would be admitted wherever they liked. She ended up going to University of Florida. When my school had college fairs...the main stands in our gym were all military services and community colleges. So you look at me and tell me private and charter schools aren't the best thing for kids. On average, your goals are smaller, your opportunities are smaller, and the people laying out the right path for you just aren't there.

Searching For The Next Move Wont Help: God's The Answer?

I've come to a conclusion these days...people expect for everything to be solved with God and religion. Is this actually true that it will? No. If you know me, you would know that I am a very religious Muslim man. I praise God and thank him daily for all that he has done for me and my family. We're very blessed. But that being said...even during times of poverty, sadness, and whatever else the world throws at people to have them in a state of needing an answer...we prayed to God for help in doing what we needed to do and went out and did it ourselves hoping he would be there. But what is the main point there? That we didn't use God as a crutch or to put everything on him, like he's going to magically come down and throw us a million dollars with some answers to questions.

And that's what I think is wrong today with some of the people out there. Not to mention the nuts in these mega-churches that think the pastor/reverend is some kind of messiah or prophet. Can someone explain to me when it became God's job to fix your relationship or take you out of your situation? That's crazy talk to me. I say God is there in order to guide us in the right direction, not to come from the sky with baby milk since you spent the money on the club. Yes, I know there are tons of families out there in bad situations because of chance or life...but that still doesn't give them a reason to go and put everything in hopes that God will save them without them putting in some work also. Pastors say it all the time, "God helps those that help themselves". Putting all your cards on God while holding your weed in one hand, a bottle of Ciroc in the other, and crying about not being able to make it out the projects after losing your job and not having enough money to pay the mortgage instead of doing your best to solve the issue (even if it includes filling for Bankruptcy) is what will lead to a long line of living on the edge. Once saw a woman with a kid on True Life (on MTV)...her income (which was only from child support) couldn't pay all of her bills (though she lived alone instead searching for someone to live with). How did she manage? She would randomly end up with money each month from different sources. How long can you last like that?

When i was younger, I heard someone say that Christianity is the poor man's religion. When you think about such a statement, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that so many Americans are Christians (from all kinds of economic levels). Then you might stop and think...hold on...are we considering Christianity to be all sects, or are we diving them up? I know I don't consider Catholics to be the same (especially after going to a Catholic church). But then you think about all the people in low income neighborhoods that rely on God for everything. Makes you wonder why the ratio of higher economic people are in churches less often and talk about it less...or is it just based on the specific cultures they belong to. And honestly, I agree....Christianity is the poor man's religion. I can go on for days making little points about why, but that will end will an extra long post lol. Think about it yourself and tell me what you think. Does religion (all religions included) give an excuse for people in bad situations to stay there? Is it a way for people to pass the blame of their situation and what has happened to them? Or is it just the personality of those individuals all wrong??

Wonder how real or valid the below pictures are....? And if they are valid, I see a connection between economy and religion lol

Story Time (By memory): There once was a woman that was lost at sea in a small boat. Away from everyone and no way to call for help, she waited for a sign from God. A ship came by and saw her in need of help. She told him : "No thank you, God is coming to help me and will provide a sign". The ship left along with the crew. Another ship came and saw her. When they came close, she told them: "No thank you. I'll be ok. God will save me and show me a sign". As time passed...the woman died. When she got to heaven she asked God: "Hey, I was in need of your help, why didn't you save me or show me a sign?". Then God replied: "I did send you signs, I sent two ships that wanted to save you."

You Knew What This Was: Who's Lying Here?

So I'm on Facebook and comment on a friend's post as a joke (though also serious). His status stated:

Congratulations to all of my Friends and Family that graduated to day From SUNY COLLEGE At Oldwestbury. There aint no place like Oldwestbury. We're cut from a different cloth. I cant wait to see what everybody does next.

So being that I went to SUNY Old Westbury for my first year of college and happy I had left, I stated:

I'm with you....can't wait to see where they'll be packing groceries at either. I vote a Costco or a Walmart lol.

 Was this a bit mean? Yes lol. But that's how I am sometimes. But that started a conversation among others about the name of your college not mattering. And to be honest, its a lie to think otherwise. Let's be honest and real with this. Lets make two men. Same in the exact ways. Both have the same drive and ambitions, same supporting cast, everything the same....except one graduated from Harvard Law, one graduated from West Bubble Community College Law program. They both apply for a job at the top law firm in the country. Who is getting more attention and being looked at first? In some scenarios, the second guy wouldn't even be looked at. Can guy B win the job and get ahead? Yes, but guy A would have to mess up first.

When companies would hit me, they would openly admit they wanted people only from top tier schools. And I don't blame them. Our education wasn't the same. Don't lie to yourselves. If I said I graduated with a degree from Yale, everyone would look at me differently (even though I didn't). Your brain instantly says a couple things when someone says where they got their degree from.

1, Did I ever hear of that school and does that school sound like a good one?
2, Based on the first question, you either think more of them, nothing chances, or less of them
3, Some people use this step to think of their response, being good or just saying "Oh, alright"
4, Based on step two, they are thinking either how to get off the topic of school or want to know more about your experience.

All of this happening in seconds of course. But we know its true. Its being honest. I worked harder than someone that graduated from West Bubble Community College for my degree, and someone from Stanford worked harder than I did. Does it mean one of us is smarter or harder working overall?? No. More ambitious and goal oriented? No. Just means what it is. The place you went and got your degree from matters a lot.

What Does Your School Say About You??

Update On The 'College Conspiracy' Documentary

Alright. I can't help myself. over here. This film gets crazy by the minute. And forgot to post the link before, but will do so this time. And include the video. But WOW lol. Nothing I say in this post will be me paraphrasing or giving the general idea....I will tell you exactly what they are saying. And what are they saying? People should not go to college because it is a scam. They should instead ONLY graduate from high school and start working IMMEDIATELY after. Then instead of working to gain money, they should work to get gold and silver ONLY because people will not be able to do anything with actual American money lmao. Wow. This is........hilarious.

They even come up with some number examples. So if you don't know...years ago the education system did a study and found that people with a degree end up making over a million dollars more over a lifetime than someone without a college degree...but that also being said this documentary came up with an example that shows its less money earned than that. Let me show you.

1, They state the average private institution cost about $27,000 for tuition....even though no one said you had to go to such an expensive school. And public is just fine.
2, With the average college student finishing college in more than 4 years, 5 to be exact, they post an example for 6 years Including Expected inflation costs.
3, At 6 years of college with such a price, it would cost $182,000 to go to school and take out loans. Yet I don't know anyone in that kind of debt for just a bachelors.
4, With that price, it would be about $61,000 in interest at 5.15%, but that's based on the idea that you take out $182,000 in loans to pay for school.
7, Yes 7, if they could play tricks with numbers, so could I lol The average American without a college degree makes about $35,000 a year. Though I don't know if they include people who went and had other training (like police men, fire men, EMT, construction workers) and that number seems a bit high for some 18 (or 17) year old kid coming out of high school to be making....straight out of high school lol.
8, The 6 years in college times the $35,000 that person could have been making totals to $200,000 of missed out on income.

So by this point...they prove that going to college is counter productive lmao. They speak to professionals making $200,000 a year and them stating that a college education had nothing to do with their income. Even though when you stop and look at life, you need that degree to get that first job you had out of college...unless you have a hook up lol. But the part I love the most is the professor saying online classes are better because it saves kids 2 gallons of gas for travel lol. And that online schools is the best way to go...even though many of the online schools are not accredited by the education boards. So you might have worked for an engineering degree at one....and its worth toilet paper because its not an accredited school

All and all...this video was funny and made me laugh at the world. If anyone goes on to think they are right and college is not for you because its a scam...have fun living your life out with $35k until you're too old to work. Honestly, this video just sounds like a half a**ed scare tactic with some ulterior motives. It really used extreme examples and points to get across small things. Using big words and scary words to get the people watching into panic mode. But don't have too much fun watching it guys lol.

One thing they said that I agree with...because 70% of high school grads go off to college, you working on a college degree doesn't make you stand out or special...To me...its what you do with that degree that matters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpZtX32sKVE  <~Is it just me or do they talk about the NIA A LOT throughout the entire film. Then they ask you to sign up for their newsletter and become a member. A little fishy? No? lol. Sounds like someone wants some money here.

Some Steps Can Be Taken Back: Looking Down On Them

At what point should someone give up the life they came from and improve themselves?? Its easy (when you stop and think about it) to give up on slacking on your school work and getting the grades you want and need for a better life. People are quick to say they are educated and doing something with their lives because they are in college. It's easy to denounce the music of Waka Flacka and Gucci Mane, yet bump it in your car. Its all good to laugh at those not in your situation because you are "progressing" and going to live that good life. But my question to you is....when you're ACTUALLY successful and living the life you were working towards....and you come from a less than good place, so you're even more excited and happy....when do you give up the things you did before?

People say that you can take someone out the hood, but that doesn't mean you can take the hood out of them. I agree. I have been grooming myself for years to be ready for a world I am not use to. A world where I am the TRUE minority and had to show a great example of who I am...but not just for myself of course, but for my people. For many, I don't think it is while in college. I see people doing the same things as they did before without a care in the world. I saw a blog the other day talking about how black people look like thugs when they go out to a club or something...and I agree completely. Guys with the sagging jeans, hoodies, big jackets, flashy jewelry, and that's not talking about the language and the large talk about drugs in the community. Females, don't think you are out of the woods with your clothing that makes you look like sluts ready for any sex partner to come and scoop you up.

But what am I getting at here? I left the hood and I change my style of dress. Been working on my use of vulgar language for years and finally have it down. You have/will never seen me in the flashy jewelry or someone see me going out and mistake me for a drug dealer. Why? Becuase I left that stuff behind. So why is it so hard for others? I would see many groups of African American students hanging out and doing drugs while blasting vulgar music and dressing like they came straight from the block....then be angry when someone puts them in a stereotype. Even with rappers....you will see them hit a certain level of fame and them convert over to being able to make the real money. Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs and Sean 'Jay Z' Carter are two of the richest men in hip hop....well thee richest men really. Totally about a billion dollars by themselves. Crazy, I know. But their income changed....and so did their style of dress. You can still see them dressed up or having on a t-shirt, fitted hat, and some jeans...but what is stopping others from doing this on a smaller scale?

If you leave the hood and claim you're doing it big because you're progressing....why not work on yourself along with working on a future. Keep looking like a hoodlum or hoodrat, and your money will forever be small scale compared to what it could be.

Call me an Oreo or an Uncle Tom....but I'll be waving back at you while living the life you only dream of.

Were You Prepared For This?: The School System

So today I watched a documentary and currently watching one. Both about the education system. And both showing the little things that majority of people didn't know or really think about, but some live with and think about every day. The first documentary was 'Waiting for Superman'. The second is the 'College Conspiracy'. So let me do a quick breakdown if you haven't seen either film.

'Waiting for Superman' talks about the entire school system. From the horrible number of students that can pass reading or math exams nationwide (20%-40% passing when nationally tested after the No Child Left Behind movement)...to the number of high schools over 40% when it comes to their drop out rates (2,000 in the U.S.). It shows multiple forms of the school system failing children, from bad teachers not being able to be fired after they hit tenure (which is time based) or chancellors not having free range to extend the length of the school day. It was a great documentary that really opened up the school system for what it was.....a Failing One.

As I watch 'College Conspiracy', the topic thus far is the school system...but more about around college obviously. They are hitting home right now about the great idea that any kid can go to school, go to college, be whatever they want to be, and then end up with the exact life they want. Which everyone that has graduated college knows is a load of bull. Nevertheless as I watch, I am split on this movie. Why? I am a person that is living that life of bull. I went and got an education, now living the life I want, and doing what I see fit. But of course, I can't go in on this movie without watching the whole thing....so that shall come later.

So what am I to talk about right now? Well the school system period. When I look back at my younger years, the school system failed me and the people I know. Now I won't go on about the horrible teachers I have had in my past...because honestly I didn't have too many bad ones. My friends would tell me all the time about their teachers telling them that they didn't care or that they didn't learn anything. And nevertheless, our school system is half day care school because of all the things going on inside of them and parents expecting teachers to raise their kids (which to me is idiotic). But how did the school system fail me? Well there aren't many ways, but they are strong. The rest of my failures in school was based on my own actions.

For starters, overcrowded classrooms. Not much I could do about it, and I hope the school would not be happy with giving them out to students, but so is life. Its hard to get the attention you might want or need when you have 30+ students in a class and a fight breaks out. In high school, a lot of the times I would go to one of my favorite math teachers and ask him for math problems. I would have him help me solve complex math problems I saw somewhere. I was in his class during other classes so I could gain extra information. I loved being in his room and around him. But not everyone can find a teacher to get that extra help.

Another...Safety. The school tried with metal detectors and guards, and agents coming in, but something else should have been done. From fights in basketball games, to gang vs gang brawls after school, and to the things I only heard about because I left early (Thank God for lunch last period).

End of the day though....if I failed something...if I didn't get extra time on some work...if I wasn't on a level I should have been...it was my fault. I made the choices I made. I could have found problems in centers to help me, but I chose to hang out with friends or get a job. So the school system failed me when I was younger, but I failed myself most of all. But thank God again that I was never left back or had to drop out in high school. I read on the right level (I made sure to always read books even outside of the curriculum), my math  scores were good (look where it landed me) and I've always been one for science.

Chemistry Olympiad. Advanced Placement and Honors every single year. A great degree and the ability to pay off my school loans....I'm happy with the education system...but I'm only one person. It's failed others Greatly.

Did You Just Trip?: Funny How Things Work Out

So I was watching Youtube videos and googling. What about? Well nothing other than algorithms lol. But thinking about going through hell with some of my past interviews, I thought of where I am and how I wouldn't be here without certain things happening. So what are they?

1. Meeting my last girlfriend and breaking up with her right on time.
2. Teaching at my last college and it helping me stand out.

So lets go into the first shall we. My last relationship was actually a long distance one. She lived in Atlanta, GA while I lived in Albany, NY at the time. We started dating the Very month the girlfriend before her and I had ended things for good. Nevertheless, after a while of dating I decided that if things continued to be great, I would move to Atlanta in order to be with her. Why such a crazy decision you might ask? Well my logic was:

Whether I stay in NY or move to Atlanta, I am starting my career. And wherever I start working, I will only work there for a couple years anyways before moving on. So it doesn't matter where I live.

So two scenarios could happen. If I didn't find a job...finish my degree...work my internship and save up over the summer...then move there when done and continue job hunting. If I found a job....finish my degree then move there. So for 8 months I searched and found many jobs, with many interviews, BUT No Offers!! Finished my degree...and while working my internship and being broke still (because of trips to be with her and bills)...I decided to move there after I find a job (which is smarter, but I was blinded by wanting to be with her already). So while continuing my job search for Atlanta and taking a trip down there to see her and do an interview, I found out she had been talking to other guys for over a month. So I broke up with her and restricted my job search for NY. In doing so, I came up with many offers, including one from the company I work for now. Right On Time!!! They just opened an office and looking to fill it up.

Next would be my teaching experience. After passing a class and teaching it the very next semester, I received an email about teachers wanted to teach COBOL (Google it). I accepted even though it was a class that I never took and didn't know the material. How do I do such a thing? Get a book and learn it fast enough to leap frog the class and teach it. My college had a job fair. In that job fair was a company in my field that liked that I knew COBOL. Then ended up calling me in for an interview and hiring me as their intern. I then interned there for two years in which I learned the things that attracted my current company to me.

 

Who would have known finding out your girlfriend was messing around on you and that putting yourself into a situation you shouldn't have been in would have had such a great outcome