You Don't Want Help Do You?: The Independence Lies

"The shoes on my feet - I bought 'em
The clothes I'm wearing - I bought 'em
The rock I'm rockin' - I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch I'm wearin' - I bought it
The house I live in - I bought it
The car I'm driving - I bought it
I depend on me"
~ Independent Women Part 1, Destiny's Child

I think this is where it started. This was the foundation of the "I'm an Independent Woman" revolution. Now I'm all for women empowering themselves, feeling better about their lives, and working hard to be someone. No problem with that at all. But while I say that, I feel there are a lot of situations and events that was caused by this movement that caused things in society to go awry. I know what you're thinking...he is about to go and  bash women. No. Not at all. I love women that are truly independent. But that being said...I think people have a confusion as to what is independence, semi-independence, and dependence  or dependent and living with your parents but having a Burger King job to pay your cell phone bill and saying you're grown and independent. Well what are the definitions you ask? I will be gladly to share.

Based on the Webster's Dictionary:

Independence: "Not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)."

Semi-Independence: "Partially independent."

Dependent: "Relying on another for support (children)."

What is the confusion exactly? Because Destiny's Child said "All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and no one wants to feel left out and the odd ball, so every girl joined in and was jumping to be that independent women. Problem is...a lot of the females claiming independence, are in fact...semi-independent at most. Why? Well based on the actual definition of the word...you should not require dependence on anyone. But based on who I'm seeing call themselves independent, they're really just girls with a little bit of money in their pocket. They shout independence, but yet only can cover a small personal bill and new jeans now and again.

Lets make some examples....first lets bring up Rachelle. She's a bright young girl, intern at an accounting firm. She screams "I'm independent, everything I have I bought it. I got my own money"....but lets go deeper...she lives at home and her shopping sprees are covered by her father. That's NOT independence. How about Lisa, she is a bit young and has a job at Subways, but has her own crib and her father doesn't pay for anything...yet her boyfriend covers the bills since Lisa only makes enough to be ghetto fabulous. We can even visit Casey. She lives alone at home with her mom....the rest don't even matter. She's not independent. And college students are just as dependent as anyone else in these examples

See my points here? We are not even mentioning the females that say they are independent with a work study job and their parents pay all their bills. But you will still hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that she does everything on her own lol. And let's not go into the case of the girl that gets on guys because of what they are lacking, yet her daddy bought her car and pampers her with all her clothes and accessories. I can say I've seen the last example 1,001 times lol.

So what's my point here? There is nothing wrong with being young and semi-independent. Nothing wrong with being young and dependent. Whether parents, boyfriends, or just family members, its ok (until you get older, then its sad). They are there to lend a helping hand and in some situations a crutch. But at the same time...don't lie to yourself and others. Me? Everything I own...I bought. My bills covered by me. And I've lived on my own for years now. You don't hear me screaming "I'm independent". But damn Destiny's Child for starting a movement that cause females to lie to themselves even more than usual (which was then upstaged by Beyonce's 'Girls' song). 

Some of you are saying "Well they have to fake it till you make it", well I agree with that ideal to a point. What is that point? Where you're lying to yourself about the truth and getting on others because of it. So next time you see a woman saying she refuses to let a man be the head of the household...hear a female yelling at men about what she has because she feels someone cares...think about this song...and think about all the females that are in this movement lying to themselves...and paying the price because of it. What is the price? That's a long post in itself lol. Maybe one day though.

So is this a case of a female feeling independent or a black female fed up? Since we don't know the background....its a toss up.

I'm Not Stopping You From Finishing: "Hi Haters"?

We have a new problem in our midst. What is it? Everyone thinking they have "Haters" or people "Hating" on them. How realistic are they really?? I mean, just because I don't like something that you do or have done means.....I'm a hater now?? What are the rules and regulations for being a hater?? Does the person I'm hating on have to be successful in some kind of way? And if so....why would I hate on some hoodrat that has on a new weave that I don't like? Or the grown man with the new Jordans....but I'm laughing because he lives with his parents still. Am I hating then also? 

I think people have come out with delusions in their mind as to what the facts are in life. What are they to me? For you to be hated on...

• You have to truly successful at something.
• You have to have some level of fame or popularity, for people to even know you even exist.
• You have to be doing something that others cannot easy do or have something that is hard to attain.

Basically...you can't be some average Joe. No one cares about the guy from the union coming into the club and buying bottles with his rent money. I don't understand this completely, but I do have some speculations into why people are also talking about having "Haters". Maybe its because they want to feel important. Because they want to point out that they have something they feel others might like. Or just to belong because others are doing it. Katt Williams jokes about haters and has our society believing that if you don't have haters, then you're not doing anything with your life. #Lies. I'm doing a lot in my life, and don't think I have haters. There are people who might want what I have or dislike something that I say or do, but that's just it...its a dislike or a desire. I don't say I have haters when someone calls me out on something they feel, nor do I say it when someone disagrees with something I feel....I call it having out own opinions.

So the next time you put up picture online or talk about yourself and someone disagrees, ask yourself...."Is this them hating on me, or them sharing their opinions". Spike Lee shares his opinions on Tyler Perry movies and I agree. Is it hating? Maybe, maybe not. All about the angle you take on the matter. But end of the day....he is sharing his opinion with reasoning.

 If you dislike them for a VALID reason, it doesn't make you a "Hater", it makes you a person with a dislike.

Back To Square One?: I'm A Bit Scared

So yesterday....after a dentist appointment I went into a Dodge car dealership. Why?? I plan on buying a Dodge Challenger this coming Summer. This will be my second car. Where is my first you asked? Car accident totaled it. My first and only real car accident actually. I remember driving after it....for a long time I was still scared. Your nerves act up on your and you try to be extra careful. But the problem with being extra careful is that you're also setting yourself up for an accident (which I feel is sometimes the issue with female drivers). Instead of continuing when the light turns yellow and you're at the crosswalk doing 30...you try your best to stop and then what happens? You get rear ended and its your fault instead of continuing through the light. That's not what happened to me after the accident, but it was situations that came up where I made stupid mistakes because I was scared. 

In my car accident, I was making a right turn on red, which is legal where I was. The lanes where clear and after a couple seconds of going and speeding up...I was rear ended by someone speeding. I thought it was a dream, but realized it wasn't since....it was too realistic lol. I ended up on the other side of traffic (which is usually busy during rush hour, but for that time being it was empty, Thank God) and the force pushed me into the parking lot of a business (had to do some navigating of course to miss objects). So my issue for a while was being rear ended. My motorcycle...multiple times I almost died. From guys coming to a full stop on the highway, to a cab driver cutting in front of me while I was going too fast to stop. So what did I do? Well it was a single lane road......because the right hand side was numerous pillars and the left hand was the on coming traffic...I sped up....and split between an on coming car and the cab driver in front of me. Seriously inches for near death. Wait....just remembered I had an accident on that bike lol. Tried to look cool in front of some coworkers and ended up smashing into a wall on my right hide. I flew off that bike so quickly lol. Thank God the bike didn't continue and end up hitting me. Rode off and was pissed at the world lol.

What may you ask is my issue now though?? A part of me don't feel as if I'm supposed to have great things. Why? Because when I have great things....they tend to mess up somehow. Not my most important things....(ie..PS3, xbox, tv, laptops) but stuff where it cost more money. Maybe its because of the way I grew up...not having anything good or great really). But anyways...I feel as if I'm going to crash it or someone will hit me. I hope to God neither happens, but you never know.Wish me luck. Here are some pictures of the car I want (minus a special package I was going to have done separately, but sounds cheaper just to order it included).

You Want A Map To The Maze?: The Obama Dream

Barack Obama.....President of the United States of America....why was he voted President? Well there are many reasons from this. From....him being a Democrat, to him being black, to people believing in his views and opinions, and to the fact that he is a great speaker and sounds very articulate. But what's my point here?? Well we could talk about the little boy that came from a simple life to becoming a leader of a country and an idol. A man that has set new trends and changed lives just from him being able to run for president. We could talk about a man that is head of his family while running around the world to take care of business (but then again we are on the outside looking in). But what is this about?? Well you guys know I rather talk about something that hits home more than anything else. So this is about the females always saying they want a guy like Obama.

What is my issue with this exactly? Well there are two kinds of females that I have a problem with saying this...the rest are allowed to say whatever they feel like lol. 

1. The females that say she wants a Man like Obama, then goes for guys like Daquan down the block.
2. The females that say she wants a Man like Obama, but have nothing to offer a man like that.

Now the first is the female that I have partially mentioned before. She's the one that say she wants a Mr. Right, but actually goes for Mr. Quick Fix (not even Mr. Right Now because even he's too good. She just needs someone to be with). She can talk about ALLLLLLLL she wants in life and what kind of guy she thinks is perfect.....wants to marry.....want to spend the rest of her life with.......but who is she dating? The guy that beats her. The guy that cheats on her. The guy that lies and disrespects her. Now yes....we all lie sooner or later (male n female), but she's going for the compulsive liar.

The second female....she's can be categorized in many ways. She could be the hoodrat that's having sex with the DJ for him to play her jam throughout the night. She could the average female with nothing going for herself...just a part time job with no realistic goals. Or the ones with a good career and thinks she's running the world, but then again her personality and traits horrible. And finally the female that looks beautiful but thinks it being the only thing going for her can get any man. All of these females ask for a Man like Obama that has a great personality and honorable in many ways (from the outside looking in). So what makes her even think she can be with him? It goes to my theory of dating lol.

In my mind, it is a fact that Females always want to date up...but Men are good with dating down. What do I mean?? Am I saying he is a better person?? Blah blah blah?? lol. My point is based on position in life and what that person can offer. Females...even if they don't have what they want in the man....will still request it. Can't count the times I have seen females ask for a guy with a job....but don't have one. A car....but taking the bus. Own apartment....but lives with parents. And so on and so forth. Men...we care less about the material stuff and the "what can she do for me" stuff and more about the female. Yes, it can be solely on looks at times, but that's sometimes. Guys will in a way....."settle".

But why do these females dream and dream about a Man like Obama? Because real Men with such success in life don't want females like these.

So ladies, before you go around lying to yourselves and saying you want Obama, but really want Tayshawn....or just another hood chic on the block......be honest with yourself and those around you.

Your Start Was Your High Point: The Realization

So...this morning I saw the status of a friend of mine (Stanley Fritz),

"Att women of facebook, the average black male between the ages of 21-26 does not make enough money to own a car and an apartment, money does not grow on tree's, its just not realistic. that would be like me asking for a woman that wasn't crazy."

I won't say what kind of position I am to this statement, but its the honest truth that a lot of people graduating college have these things and be in a position to afford it. Graduating college...you're almost guaranteed to be in debt. So this means that you will be paying off school loans while trying to find a job in your field (which is not guaranteed at all) and then some people end up just getting a job to keep money in their pockets while searching. So there you have it...its known...that after graduating college...just having a degree does not mean you will have a college. It's the furthest thing from the truth. And some positions, they might see you as "overqualified" and going to cost too much to pay when they can get someone in high school.

There there are the people out there that have a car and apartment.....but never paid for it. Those people aren't even allowed to speak on this. That's like having your parents pay in cash your entire college bill...but when you're friends talk about how hard it is paying for college....and you jump in and agree. WTF?!?!?! But we can also talk about the people that have the car and apartment...but don't make enough to afford it..and will go on to be in even more debt than they are and can't get out. Missing bill payments on things. Can't maintain the life or image they're putting out there....the list goes on. A car and an apartment is a financial investment not everyone is ready for. I know I'm not. So I'm waiting.

When I restated this (giving him his credit) someone told me they wouldn't date a guy that didn't have those things. That they were tired of dating guys that only had potential and wanted someone already established (she had her reasons). And as much as I respect her opinion and reason for it....I have to say......Hells No lol. Most of my life I was poor, no car, no apartment, but I was working towards something. So being where I am today, I look at the females I've dated beforehand and thank them. Thank them for seeing the potential in me. For seeing that I was smart and that my material things would come in the future and were not an issue now. I thank them for seeing past what so many females are asking for right now. The same man said something today that is going to be something like a motto to me. He stated:

"If you're not willing to ride on the bus with me now, I don't want you when I have my Maserati."

 And I am feeling him on this so hard body. I been thinking about going on dates using the cab service I normally use in Michigan, but honestly...screw that....what's so bad about the bus. You like me? You respect me? You think we have something going? Then lets be on that bus together. Hand and hand. Keep it real. I don't want some female that's too good to be seen on a bus with her man. I need a down to earth woman. Furthermore...when females tell me they can't talk to me because of my lack of a car or ask me "You're joking right"...then I thank God actually. I thank him for pointing out what kind of female she was and that I shouldn't be talking to her.

Sometimes its not where they are in life...but where they're going. A guy can have all the money in the world right now....but not have a long term plan and end up poor. What will you do then?? Look at drug dealers and the females attracted to them...you think his money will last?? Make smart decisions people.