Care About My Maze?: So How Much Luggage Are You Checking?

Before I go in...let me state that this is the closest to my actual person life I've been on this blog. Its weird, but I felt there was something that could help females out there in the world....well at least entertain and create thought to those that read this blog anyways. Why don't I do it more often? Well people randomly tell me all the time that they read my blog. People I would have never expected. So excuse me if I am hesitant at times lol. Especially if what is in my head is about them. But what is this all about? Bringing baggage into a starting relationship.

So lets start with girl A since she was first. We began talking and off the back she isn't my type whatsoever, but we weren't initially thinking about dating anyways. Was just going to be a fun time. Then our long conversations turned into the feeling of 'Like' (which I can't see it getting anywhere past). And while my friends looked at me confused because I was talking about dating this female (just for the fun of it), one thing stood out about our conversations...She Kept Talking About Her Exes and Other Guys. Like seriously...why the heck do you think I would care? What do they have to do with me? Guys only need to know a couple things.

1, Why you guys broke up.
2, Do you talk now
3, Is there a chance of you guys getting back together.

And those questions don't need to be asked. They could just be found out with time. But there is no reason at all you need to be over there telling me on the phone about some other dude. I Don't Care. When she would talk about him, I would ignore the entire thing. Till this day I don't know what happened with them except for a pregnancy issue she keeps talking about. Other than that....I zone the hell out lol. I honestly don't even know why they broke up, but that is because of me zoning out so much. She would talk about other sexual partners she had and about the list of guys she gave a title to or had them eat her out. And here we are talking about being a couple and dating. Why the heck do I need this info??

As I write this, it makes me think about my last girlfriend...who would do the same exact thing, except even worse. She would come to me about the guys she's been with sexually and give details. Like what giving head to one guy was like and how it smelled. She would tell me all kinds of things about the dudes before me. And I would shut her down immediately each time and remind her that I don't care and that it made her sound like a hoe. Did I use that word? I don't think I did. I might have been nicer. But over time of hearing this stuff, that word did pop out of my mouth. I don't need to know what every guy you been with feels like inside you...I don't want to hear about how they all thought your "pu**y was the best" or how your head game always made them cum. You are only digging a deeper hole for yourself.

But that brings me to girl B. She was new. Things only lasted a bit over a week with her. Text conversations went well. She called me refreshing and said it was great to be talking to me. She was cool, so I basically said the same back. Ladies, know that if you compliment me, I will prob just compliment you back or use your own compliment on you. Do I mean it? Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not big on compliments. Our first date...I can't even count how many references she made about her exes. She talked on and on about her past relationships. From being engaged to thinking some guy was the one and not being able to see herself in love like that with any other guy. And the countless dudes she thought she would marry or end up with turning out to be flops. She would even go into telling me how many guys she know that have been hitting her up for sex lately. Doesn't help that we started following each other on twitter and she keeps talking about her ex lately and how guys hurt her (I didn't notice that stuff beforehand, or I would have never went out with her). But what did I do on the date? I ignored that crap. I don't care about the last dude. Why are you telling me about your past relationships? Do you think I really care?? I keep repeating these questions because I'm confused as to why females do this. No One Cares Or Wants To Hear It. So after spending time with her another day and hearing more crap about other guys and needing someone different...she told me she was "sorry for leading me on, but not ready for a relationship right now". I bust out laughing when I got that text. Why? Because I had already really had her in the friend zone. It was really a lie on her part because of her multiple signs of her telling me I was someone she wanted to continue things with (from us talking about being more physical, her counting out how many dates we been on or will go on, making future plans for us, telling me she wanted to take things slow with me or how great I was doing with her, and giving me pointers to what will have her put up a wall). But what was wrong with her that she was in the friend zone? I don't know a hardcore answer...but that stuff about other guys definitely didn't help her outlook to me lol.

Basically people...no one wants to hear about your baggage. I have a lot of females in my past. But that's the past. I keep them there. UNLESS you ask me about them, I will only disclose my very last relationship and ONLY say why we broke up or why I'm single. I've met COUNTLESS females that talk about exes. Age doesn't matter with that. I was just talking to a 30 year old female talking about the same thing on the phone (and one of her exes being Terrell Owens, who's now on the Cincinnati Bengals) . She went on and on about past relationships and went into complaining about her job for 15 minutes. More stuff that's unattractive and don't want around me. Your stuff from your last relationship does not need to be in your new relationship. Either keep it to yourself and try to move on or forget it in the past somehow.

Please...check your baggage before doing anything else. And if you have too much, that's not a good look either. No person wants someone that brings way too much with them. Especially when you're just getting to know one another. I thought everyone knew this. I thought everyone knew not to go on and on about exes though lol. The things you learn in the dating scene.

Try New Search Algorithms: Is Online Dating The Magic Gateway?

I just read a statistic that shows 1/8 marriages last year were from couples who met online. The funny thing about this is...a lot of the people I have met in recent years have been from online. I've made some great friends from Twitter and even had a girlfriend that I met from there. My oldest brother met and married a women he met off Match.com. One of my most important relationships ever was hooked up by a mutual friend after I saw her friend on Facebook. The closest person to me now in Michigan, I met when she hit me up online. And till this day I periodically have multiple phone numbers sent to me from females online that want to hang out and be friends, and some for more than just that. As a matter of fact, I recently went out a date with a girl from twitter. We did decide to be friends though.

But what am I getting at? With the invention of Myspace, which everyone knows is just a spot to find people to hook up with, and the invention of Facebook and Twitter, outlets for staying in contact with people while meeting new and cool people, the world is becoming more internet based. We can have a whole conversation and never say a word to one another. We could keep in contact with one another and never have to reach for a phone or a pen. We are in a world where there are 1,001 ways to be in contact with one another and so why wouldn't this be true.

Some feel that meeting people online is strange and weird. Especially someone to hook up with or maybe go into a relationship with. I honestly don't. Maybe because I'm such a technology person or because I'm a guy without fear of being raped lol. But honestly, there isn't much difference when meeting someone that could be crazy and you meet them in a mall or on a school campus. So what do I say to this new statistic....congrats to those people who found love and are now married. That's it really. Not much I could say. I'm happy for them and hope things work out. I actually saw two groups of people taking pictures after their weddings. Did they meet online? Who knows. But there are tons of ways to meet online. Whether because it was an intention while using e-harmony or by accident while having a debate over a friend's status on Facebook.

My point is...you never know where you will meet the one. So why limit yourself nowadays. But do be careful, some people are uglier than what their pictures show lol. Advancements in technology also means more ways to lie to you.

Check Your Bag For A Map: The Back Pocket Listing

So there is a video online ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCoI-B9AYjs )...it talks about 42% of African American woman never being married. Now what am I going to talk about? Something I didn't see before, but I see and live it now. What is it? The part where they are talking about men having females in their back pocket and will check up on them now and again.

So when I first saw this video when it first came out, I was laughing at these women because they allowed guys to have them on the "back burner" like that. I was thinking that these females should have better choices in guys. Instead of going with guys that would have them in the back of their head and hit them up now and again randomly to "check up" on them, they would go with guys that really wanted to be with them. But being the older and wiser person that I am and now being the man that has females I periodically check up with, I realized how easy it is to become that man. I have attained many number just over the past two months alone. Do I really use these numbers? Not At All. Why? I have multiple reasons in my head, but don't know which one if any is true. What are they? Let me show you:

1. They are good women, but after the initial conversation, I saw that they and I were not meant for each other.
2. I was only after seeing if I could get the number or not.
3. I got bored with them or found better things.
4. I just like having options.

Now it doesn't matter the looks or the personality traits....some of these girls are sexy and look great. Others are average or ok and have great personality. But there was something about them all that made me not want to truly pursue them further and see where it would lead. There is a female I have been talking to for about a month and a half....we talk every single night on the phone and its a known fact that we will be talking every single day, even if its a short convo. But what separates her from the rest? I don't know honestly. I would give an answer, but I can't say I gave the other females a fair chance. But what is my point here? Not that I'm a player or a pimp, or some guy that can get numbers, I'm saying that as the older I get, the more I learn and although I'm not like every other guy, I have a lot of traits like the rest. So yeah...continue to give me your numbers, but don't think it means I will be calling you lol.

Do You Know How Long You Been Trapped?: I Dont Want To Know

I spoke to a friend of mine yesterday about the epic question while getting to know someone and in that "Talking" phase...."Are you talking/dating anyone else" *insert thunder and horror music*.

I'm currently pursuing a woman at a distance who happens to be older than me...and I refuse to ask her the big question right now. Why you say?

1, Most times older women feel they have needs that have to be fulfilled. And i don't want to hear the news that she is seeing someone or even further.

2, If she answers that she's messing with other guys....that means I will have this vision in my head of guy X....and every man in the world hates guy X. He's the guy we think is having sex with our girl or female we really care for.

3, If she's not seeing anyone, does that mean I shouldn't try to talk to other females? That's a big decision to make at my age and with a distance.

 4, Most importantly, we just started getting to know one another. That's a question you ask when things are getting pretty serious. And its not at that point as yet....but I do like her. She's very much what I would want in a woman at my side.

 So maybe I'm over-thinking, or maybe I'm right on the dot. Either way...I hope to continue getting to know her. And definitely want to see where things go. BUT.....not asking about her other ventures until serious times are upon us lol. Wish me luck. No man wants to ask too early, come on too strong, or even start something he isn't ready for.