You Don't Want Help Do You?: The Independence Lies

"The shoes on my feet - I bought 'em
The clothes I'm wearing - I bought 'em
The rock I'm rockin' - I bought it
'Cause I depend on me
If I wanted
The watch I'm wearin' - I bought it
The house I live in - I bought it
The car I'm driving - I bought it
I depend on me"
~ Independent Women Part 1, Destiny's Child

I think this is where it started. This was the foundation of the "I'm an Independent Woman" revolution. Now I'm all for women empowering themselves, feeling better about their lives, and working hard to be someone. No problem with that at all. But while I say that, I feel there are a lot of situations and events that was caused by this movement that caused things in society to go awry. I know what you're thinking...he is about to go and  bash women. No. Not at all. I love women that are truly independent. But that being said...I think people have a confusion as to what is independence, semi-independence, and dependence  or dependent and living with your parents but having a Burger King job to pay your cell phone bill and saying you're grown and independent. Well what are the definitions you ask? I will be gladly to share.

Based on the Webster's Dictionary:

Independence: "Not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)."

Semi-Independence: "Partially independent."

Dependent: "Relying on another for support (children)."

What is the confusion exactly? Because Destiny's Child said "All the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and no one wants to feel left out and the odd ball, so every girl joined in and was jumping to be that independent women. Problem is...a lot of the females claiming independence, are in fact...semi-independent at most. Why? Well based on the actual definition of the word...you should not require dependence on anyone. But based on who I'm seeing call themselves independent, they're really just girls with a little bit of money in their pocket. They shout independence, but yet only can cover a small personal bill and new jeans now and again.

Lets make some examples....first lets bring up Rachelle. She's a bright young girl, intern at an accounting firm. She screams "I'm independent, everything I have I bought it. I got my own money"....but lets go deeper...she lives at home and her shopping sprees are covered by her father. That's NOT independence. How about Lisa, she is a bit young and has a job at Subways, but has her own crib and her father doesn't pay for anything...yet her boyfriend covers the bills since Lisa only makes enough to be ghetto fabulous. We can even visit Casey. She lives alone at home with her mom....the rest don't even matter. She's not independent. And college students are just as dependent as anyone else in these examples

See my points here? We are not even mentioning the females that say they are independent with a work study job and their parents pay all their bills. But you will still hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that she does everything on her own lol. And let's not go into the case of the girl that gets on guys because of what they are lacking, yet her daddy bought her car and pampers her with all her clothes and accessories. I can say I've seen the last example 1,001 times lol.

So what's my point here? There is nothing wrong with being young and semi-independent. Nothing wrong with being young and dependent. Whether parents, boyfriends, or just family members, its ok (until you get older, then its sad). They are there to lend a helping hand and in some situations a crutch. But at the same time...don't lie to yourself and others. Me? Everything I own...I bought. My bills covered by me. And I've lived on my own for years now. You don't hear me screaming "I'm independent". But damn Destiny's Child for starting a movement that cause females to lie to themselves even more than usual (which was then upstaged by Beyonce's 'Girls' song). 

Some of you are saying "Well they have to fake it till you make it", well I agree with that ideal to a point. What is that point? Where you're lying to yourself about the truth and getting on others because of it. So next time you see a woman saying she refuses to let a man be the head of the household...hear a female yelling at men about what she has because she feels someone cares...think about this song...and think about all the females that are in this movement lying to themselves...and paying the price because of it. What is the price? That's a long post in itself lol. Maybe one day though.

So is this a case of a female feeling independent or a black female fed up? Since we don't know the background....its a toss up.

Searching For The Next Move Wont Help: God's The Answer?

I've come to a conclusion these days...people expect for everything to be solved with God and religion. Is this actually true that it will? No. If you know me, you would know that I am a very religious Muslim man. I praise God and thank him daily for all that he has done for me and my family. We're very blessed. But that being said...even during times of poverty, sadness, and whatever else the world throws at people to have them in a state of needing an answer...we prayed to God for help in doing what we needed to do and went out and did it ourselves hoping he would be there. But what is the main point there? That we didn't use God as a crutch or to put everything on him, like he's going to magically come down and throw us a million dollars with some answers to questions.

And that's what I think is wrong today with some of the people out there. Not to mention the nuts in these mega-churches that think the pastor/reverend is some kind of messiah or prophet. Can someone explain to me when it became God's job to fix your relationship or take you out of your situation? That's crazy talk to me. I say God is there in order to guide us in the right direction, not to come from the sky with baby milk since you spent the money on the club. Yes, I know there are tons of families out there in bad situations because of chance or life...but that still doesn't give them a reason to go and put everything in hopes that God will save them without them putting in some work also. Pastors say it all the time, "God helps those that help themselves". Putting all your cards on God while holding your weed in one hand, a bottle of Ciroc in the other, and crying about not being able to make it out the projects after losing your job and not having enough money to pay the mortgage instead of doing your best to solve the issue (even if it includes filling for Bankruptcy) is what will lead to a long line of living on the edge. Once saw a woman with a kid on True Life (on MTV)...her income (which was only from child support) couldn't pay all of her bills (though she lived alone instead searching for someone to live with). How did she manage? She would randomly end up with money each month from different sources. How long can you last like that?

When i was younger, I heard someone say that Christianity is the poor man's religion. When you think about such a statement, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that so many Americans are Christians (from all kinds of economic levels). Then you might stop and think...hold on...are we considering Christianity to be all sects, or are we diving them up? I know I don't consider Catholics to be the same (especially after going to a Catholic church). But then you think about all the people in low income neighborhoods that rely on God for everything. Makes you wonder why the ratio of higher economic people are in churches less often and talk about it less...or is it just based on the specific cultures they belong to. And honestly, I agree....Christianity is the poor man's religion. I can go on for days making little points about why, but that will end will an extra long post lol. Think about it yourself and tell me what you think. Does religion (all religions included) give an excuse for people in bad situations to stay there? Is it a way for people to pass the blame of their situation and what has happened to them? Or is it just the personality of those individuals all wrong??

Wonder how real or valid the below pictures are....? And if they are valid, I see a connection between economy and religion lol

Story Time (By memory): There once was a woman that was lost at sea in a small boat. Away from everyone and no way to call for help, she waited for a sign from God. A ship came by and saw her in need of help. She told him : "No thank you, God is coming to help me and will provide a sign". The ship left along with the crew. Another ship came and saw her. When they came close, she told them: "No thank you. I'll be ok. God will save me and show me a sign". As time passed...the woman died. When she got to heaven she asked God: "Hey, I was in need of your help, why didn't you save me or show me a sign?". Then God replied: "I did send you signs, I sent two ships that wanted to save you."

I'm Not Stopping You From Finishing: "Hi Haters"?

We have a new problem in our midst. What is it? Everyone thinking they have "Haters" or people "Hating" on them. How realistic are they really?? I mean, just because I don't like something that you do or have done means.....I'm a hater now?? What are the rules and regulations for being a hater?? Does the person I'm hating on have to be successful in some kind of way? And if so....why would I hate on some hoodrat that has on a new weave that I don't like? Or the grown man with the new Jordans....but I'm laughing because he lives with his parents still. Am I hating then also? 

I think people have come out with delusions in their mind as to what the facts are in life. What are they to me? For you to be hated on...

• You have to truly successful at something.
• You have to have some level of fame or popularity, for people to even know you even exist.
• You have to be doing something that others cannot easy do or have something that is hard to attain.

Basically...you can't be some average Joe. No one cares about the guy from the union coming into the club and buying bottles with his rent money. I don't understand this completely, but I do have some speculations into why people are also talking about having "Haters". Maybe its because they want to feel important. Because they want to point out that they have something they feel others might like. Or just to belong because others are doing it. Katt Williams jokes about haters and has our society believing that if you don't have haters, then you're not doing anything with your life. #Lies. I'm doing a lot in my life, and don't think I have haters. There are people who might want what I have or dislike something that I say or do, but that's just it...its a dislike or a desire. I don't say I have haters when someone calls me out on something they feel, nor do I say it when someone disagrees with something I feel....I call it having out own opinions.

So the next time you put up picture online or talk about yourself and someone disagrees, ask yourself...."Is this them hating on me, or them sharing their opinions". Spike Lee shares his opinions on Tyler Perry movies and I agree. Is it hating? Maybe, maybe not. All about the angle you take on the matter. But end of the day....he is sharing his opinion with reasoning.

 If you dislike them for a VALID reason, it doesn't make you a "Hater", it makes you a person with a dislike.

You Want A Map To The Maze?: The Obama Dream

Barack Obama.....President of the United States of America....why was he voted President? Well there are many reasons from this. From....him being a Democrat, to him being black, to people believing in his views and opinions, and to the fact that he is a great speaker and sounds very articulate. But what's my point here?? Well we could talk about the little boy that came from a simple life to becoming a leader of a country and an idol. A man that has set new trends and changed lives just from him being able to run for president. We could talk about a man that is head of his family while running around the world to take care of business (but then again we are on the outside looking in). But what is this about?? Well you guys know I rather talk about something that hits home more than anything else. So this is about the females always saying they want a guy like Obama.

What is my issue with this exactly? Well there are two kinds of females that I have a problem with saying this...the rest are allowed to say whatever they feel like lol. 

1. The females that say she wants a Man like Obama, then goes for guys like Daquan down the block.
2. The females that say she wants a Man like Obama, but have nothing to offer a man like that.

Now the first is the female that I have partially mentioned before. She's the one that say she wants a Mr. Right, but actually goes for Mr. Quick Fix (not even Mr. Right Now because even he's too good. She just needs someone to be with). She can talk about ALLLLLLLL she wants in life and what kind of guy she thinks is perfect.....wants to marry.....want to spend the rest of her life with.......but who is she dating? The guy that beats her. The guy that cheats on her. The guy that lies and disrespects her. Now yes....we all lie sooner or later (male n female), but she's going for the compulsive liar.

The second female....she's can be categorized in many ways. She could be the hoodrat that's having sex with the DJ for him to play her jam throughout the night. She could the average female with nothing going for herself...just a part time job with no realistic goals. Or the ones with a good career and thinks she's running the world, but then again her personality and traits horrible. And finally the female that looks beautiful but thinks it being the only thing going for her can get any man. All of these females ask for a Man like Obama that has a great personality and honorable in many ways (from the outside looking in). So what makes her even think she can be with him? It goes to my theory of dating lol.

In my mind, it is a fact that Females always want to date up...but Men are good with dating down. What do I mean?? Am I saying he is a better person?? Blah blah blah?? lol. My point is based on position in life and what that person can offer. Females...even if they don't have what they want in the man....will still request it. Can't count the times I have seen females ask for a guy with a job....but don't have one. A car....but taking the bus. Own apartment....but lives with parents. And so on and so forth. Men...we care less about the material stuff and the "what can she do for me" stuff and more about the female. Yes, it can be solely on looks at times, but that's sometimes. Guys will in a way....."settle".

But why do these females dream and dream about a Man like Obama? Because real Men with such success in life don't want females like these.

So ladies, before you go around lying to yourselves and saying you want Obama, but really want Tayshawn....or just another hood chic on the block......be honest with yourself and those around you.

Look Again And Hope: People That Lie To Themselves

Over the years I have come to know one thing....it's the people lie to themselves. Some on purpose....Some are just in such a deep lie that they don't realize it. But who is this about right now? Not the people that think they are in a position in life where they really in fact are not, this is more about the people that think one way about themselves.........but its a lie.....then they talk about others like themselves. Who should we cover first? How about we go in on the guys......

As guys...we are required to have some level of "Thirst". If you don't know what that is.....think bout......the things we do as men to get the female we want. Now why is it that there are guys coming at other guys about being thirst and wanting a female too much?? That is mind blowing. Even though you didn't do what he did, you have done something else. No matter how good looking or famous the person. You hear about artists all the time now paying females for sex. What do you call that?? Prostitution....aka....guys being guys. Sending a female messages to say hello....its what we do. She don't reply...hit her another day or something. It's only pushing it when he contacts her many times to no reply.

Then what about guys then get on other guys that are "broke". Wait....last time I checked....having a gold chain did not mean you had wealth. So what....because you have more baby money than another man you are allowed to call him broke and laugh at him?? Chances are you were in the same situation and you're money isn't stable. Real men that are blue collar and business men don't go around and get on guys that are not in the same position they are in. We just thank God for the position we are in. Pointless and idiotic. Especially when you both live in the same area. You won't see guys that were broke and reach a level of wealth still live in the projects. So that must mean your money is still pocket money. Get some assets, insurance, and investments, then you can say you are somewhere where you can even speak on the matter.

Females.....I can not count how many times I have seen females call one another hoes or sluts........but do the same exact thing. Now this is mind blowing lol. If you're going to call someone else "ghetto", a "slut", a "bird", or any other name that is to put down others.....at least be in a position where you can talk. And I don't mean just having money. There are money hungry hookers that make more than me in a week....BUT...the character they have is immature and idiotic. So they aren't allowed to talk about others. I have a friend in Texas that's also a stripper and she will tell me she made a thousand in a night. I'll sit there and look like......DAMN lol.....but does it give her the right to attack others? No. What if she was the same kind of person she was making fun of? Then she would be idiotic also. But she doesn't. I have never heard her once get on other females or guys about money or the things they do. Being a hypocrite is worse than being the person you're making fun of. Especially if its about something that you fit exactly. No point getting on others in the same position as you, but then giving yourself the benefit of the doubt on some stupid reason. Childish.

Basically.....before you try to get on anyone and talk about others....KNOW yourself. Analyze yourself and get the opinion of yourself from others. I love negative feedback that's constructive. Why? Because it gives me something to look at about myself. Someone called me cocky the other day....but also knows that I'm a down to earth and humble guy. So what was the conclusion after speaking? I can be cocky at times in the way that I am excessively confident, but for the most part...I'm just confident in who I am and what I can do.

We All Know The Phrase By Now