Searching For The Next Move Wont Help: God's The Answer?

I've come to a conclusion these days...people expect for everything to be solved with God and religion. Is this actually true that it will? No. If you know me, you would know that I am a very religious Muslim man. I praise God and thank him daily for all that he has done for me and my family. We're very blessed. But that being said...even during times of poverty, sadness, and whatever else the world throws at people to have them in a state of needing an answer...we prayed to God for help in doing what we needed to do and went out and did it ourselves hoping he would be there. But what is the main point there? That we didn't use God as a crutch or to put everything on him, like he's going to magically come down and throw us a million dollars with some answers to questions.

And that's what I think is wrong today with some of the people out there. Not to mention the nuts in these mega-churches that think the pastor/reverend is some kind of messiah or prophet. Can someone explain to me when it became God's job to fix your relationship or take you out of your situation? That's crazy talk to me. I say God is there in order to guide us in the right direction, not to come from the sky with baby milk since you spent the money on the club. Yes, I know there are tons of families out there in bad situations because of chance or life...but that still doesn't give them a reason to go and put everything in hopes that God will save them without them putting in some work also. Pastors say it all the time, "God helps those that help themselves". Putting all your cards on God while holding your weed in one hand, a bottle of Ciroc in the other, and crying about not being able to make it out the projects after losing your job and not having enough money to pay the mortgage instead of doing your best to solve the issue (even if it includes filling for Bankruptcy) is what will lead to a long line of living on the edge. Once saw a woman with a kid on True Life (on MTV)...her income (which was only from child support) couldn't pay all of her bills (though she lived alone instead searching for someone to live with). How did she manage? She would randomly end up with money each month from different sources. How long can you last like that?

When i was younger, I heard someone say that Christianity is the poor man's religion. When you think about such a statement, the first thing that should come to mind is the fact that so many Americans are Christians (from all kinds of economic levels). Then you might stop and think...hold on...are we considering Christianity to be all sects, or are we diving them up? I know I don't consider Catholics to be the same (especially after going to a Catholic church). But then you think about all the people in low income neighborhoods that rely on God for everything. Makes you wonder why the ratio of higher economic people are in churches less often and talk about it less...or is it just based on the specific cultures they belong to. And honestly, I agree....Christianity is the poor man's religion. I can go on for days making little points about why, but that will end will an extra long post lol. Think about it yourself and tell me what you think. Does religion (all religions included) give an excuse for people in bad situations to stay there? Is it a way for people to pass the blame of their situation and what has happened to them? Or is it just the personality of those individuals all wrong??

Wonder how real or valid the below pictures are....? And if they are valid, I see a connection between economy and religion lol

Story Time (By memory): There once was a woman that was lost at sea in a small boat. Away from everyone and no way to call for help, she waited for a sign from God. A ship came by and saw her in need of help. She told him : "No thank you, God is coming to help me and will provide a sign". The ship left along with the crew. Another ship came and saw her. When they came close, she told them: "No thank you. I'll be ok. God will save me and show me a sign". As time passed...the woman died. When she got to heaven she asked God: "Hey, I was in need of your help, why didn't you save me or show me a sign?". Then God replied: "I did send you signs, I sent two ships that wanted to save you."

No You Can't See Through The Wall: True Blessings

This is a response to people that may get my post before confused:
Understand Where You Stand - My Support.

Some people look at the end and say its luck. Some look at the now and swear things were just handed to me. Others feel jealousy for what they weren't "given". Then there are those that see everything as a challenge. I'm one of the people that sees things as a challenge. I see everything as motivation. Things that will propel me or make me fight harder. Why have I been like this my whole life? Because I came up poor and my family had too much pride.

My mother looked at me when I got the job that I currently have.....and she called it luck. I can't remember the last time I wanted to fight my own mother lol. Nothing I have is luck. Everything I have....I worked hard to get it, with let downs and sacrifices. How did I get this job? Starts from my college days. 1st college, I worked full time while enrolled full time, but a miscommunication between a professor led to a failing grade which she was not able to take off. So the school I had planned on transferring to and dreamed about since middle school (Stony Brook), I was not able to attend. Transferred to Farmingdale State College because of financial problems and worked another job with full time hours while enrolled in school full time. After bad grades and a need to leave Long Island came.....I went to Univ at Albany.....*insert groovy music*

When at Farmingdale, I took 2 programming classes. First one....I got a C. Second one....I dropped. So here I was at UAlbany taking one...and what happens....I get a B+ (I never went to class, so that cut my grade from a A+). I asked the professor to take me on and tell me what I should be doing....he did and even better he allowed me to teach the course the very next semester. When that semester came...an email went out asking for a teaching assistant for a software class I never took and didn't know how to do....so what did I do? I told him to give me a book and trust me lol. I leapfrogged the entire class mid semester in order to teach them for the rest of the semester. Having this skill and language now on my resume, I won an internship with Computer Sciences Corporation (a company bigger than most people will ever know) for the summer. Worked full time while being a full time student that summer also. But passed everything with a 3.33 gpa for the summer semester.

Fall semester....more teaching lol. Took on teaching robots and more languages while taking 6 classes (3 of which were core). Spring semester...took 7 classes (one of which being a thesis and 3 of them being core classes), taught 2 (one of which I had to learn on the spot), studied and tested out of 2 courses so I could graduate on time (calculus 2 and 3), tutoring students and mentoring African American students in my department, being involved in events for my group (MSA ~ Muslim Student Association), while job hunting (being turned down by multiple companies) and maintaining a relationship (which was long distance). In other words.....I woke up...went to my PC every morning and began work....no real going out....and no real socializing, but was able to still see my friends and play video games with them. So you see why I don't like anyone calling my achievements...."Luck".

If you want to go before my college days and talk about me eating just rice and butter for dinner, we could. Lunch being just a slice of bologna with no bread....or we can talk about sandwiches consisting of bread and pancake syrup. My wardrobe being full of hand downs from my brother and extended family. Better yet, how about we discuss the beatings I would get from my parents for answering their math or reading questions wrong. Not being allowed to eat until you figure out how to read something given to you. Or the constant beating myself down (figuratively and literally) for not being a better student and smarter person. Slapping myself at night when alone because I couldn't solve a math problem. Then we can talk about how hard I worked in high school outside of the curriculum. Being on the Chemistry Olympiad team, going to teachers and asking for more work so my skills would grow. People think I'm some insanely smart person. NO!!!! I just have a special way of seeing problems and I work hard enough with what I was given. So I am blessed to be where I am. And blessed to have what I have.

Sidenote: My family and I have never been on ANY form of assistance whatsoever. My family is too proud to accept any gov't assistance. Whatever we didn't have.....we didn't have. End of story.

So Dont You Dare Call My Hard Work And Blessing "Luck"

Did You See The Hint On The Wall: Black Coffee

"Black coffee no sugar no cream, that's the type of girl I need down on my team" ~ Heavy D

I remember writing poetry about this, giving presentations about this, discussions, debates, and just historical enlightening moments. And end of the day....its Twitter that made me realize a lot of things.

I can't count the many times I have seen dark skin females angry because someone told them they were cute for a dark skin girl. And I see their point entirely. I don't see shade of brown when I see a black women. Either I see something that goes with my preferences or I don't. Yet not everyone sees things that way. I can even sense the anger dark skin women feel. Then I see it carry over to people stating their preference. They are tired of dealing with this stereotype of dark skin females being less attractive, they when someone merely states their preference being for light skin females, that same anger comes out. When in reality it shouldn't. I spoke on this with someone the other day and she made a wonderful point. If a man comes to a dark skin woman and says his preference is for dark skin women....she's happy and feels special. That same man goes to her and says his preference is for light skin women, and she may be ready to start world war three in a grocery store. Why? She feels that pain of being put down again...and I don't blame her for it, but at the same time she is confused. That man, like everyone else has a preference (mine being towards dark skin females, but I am open to all ;-)), and she might have a thing for light skin dudes, does that mean I should be angry and upset over it? No. Its her choice. Especially when I love it when I hear females talk about dark skin guys with bald heads. I'm loving it lol. After growing up hating my complexion because of all the jokes and teasing...dark skin brothers are getting love no a days :-).

So ladies...light skin and dark skin....brothers.....light skin and dark skin....ignorant comments are not needed. A person can be beautiful no matter the shade. We all seen ugliness on both ends. Saying your preference is one thing...idiotic comments are another. But when you hear the preferences of another...why get upset? They like what they life. Plus, for me...you guys know I love my black coffee (even though in real life I hate actual black coffee...I need milk and sugar darnit lol).

Risk The Darkness or Fly Straight: Judgement Day

"Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he or she doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today" ~Malcolm X

Ever since I could remember I was leading others. My direct family and my extended family are big on being a leader and not following what others do. But I would be a liar if I said I always followed this route. At times I would do some really idiotic things and then find a reason for it...when usually the real reason was the people I was around. I blamed things on my environment. I blamed things on wrong place and time. In reality...I was just a kid looking for fun. But being an semi-adult (Adult is a big word) now and come to realize that people are not like who I am...but what's the problem you ask? A lot of them do now what I did before and the problem lies with how I look at them sometimes. Purpose? Yes and No. Yes, because he helps me filter the people I want around me. No, because I know where I came from and just want to help others.

What's the point of all this crazy talk? I'm just saying sorry I guess. Sorry to the people that would curse all the time. To the people that call each other nigga like there is no better word to use. The slackers, procrastinators, and excuse makers. Everyone that does things now that I did before. I don't look down on you, but I do look at you and wonder why. Then I stop and remember....that its just easier. Not cursing is harder and less fun than cursing. Not doing work and making an excuse for it being late can lead to more fun on that Friday night. So yeah, sometimes I need a reality check. Guess a part of me is still waiting for it to happen.

Hard Left, Straight, Or Right Curl: The Waiting Present

So you're asking yourself....with a title like that...what the heck is he talking about lol. Well its a bit deeper into the maze.

What is this gift? I would say a boy's physical transition and its affect. Maybe you'll understand him a bit better.

How about we start with elementary school...from the dark skin jokes. The famous "African booty scratcher" to the personal jokes about being ugly. Or how about we talk about the short chubby kid that girls never liked. He had a crush on a girl for every grade in elementary school lol. Did he ever get anything from it? Nope. The kiddie parties he got to go to and the invites to hang out with the cool girls....did thatever happen? Nope. A kiss, a tease, a batter of the eyes, a smile, a smirk, we can go down the line....but did any of these occur? Not a single one. Closest thing to a kiss in those days was a girl's lips accidentally touching his ear as she whispered something to him on a moving train....of course he didnt forget though. So what would affect him worse....the laughs and the teasing....or being passed over by everything with long hair? Well to be honest....it was the jokes that made him suicidal at a young age. But it was the bench warming that made him see a world with no future.

We could move on to middle school if you want....where things did change. But "What?" you may be asking....well nothing other than the girls that were sloppy and didn't care about hygiene. They wanted him. But not at all did he succumb to these advances. He still had a pride that he wouldn't let diminish. But more girls were around him now and so he smiled more. Guess it was his cure for so many guys considering him the outcast. Yet their laughs would still scream out while the teacher made comments and a class clown would mention that boy's name. So what really changed? Well the first lips of a girl he was able to feel....On The Train......he had a puppy dog crush for her since and was able to finally speak it. Walked her home after school. Buying her lunch at their hangout spots. Long phone conversations at night creating crazy bills. The result? A number of excuses of why it can't work....the biggest that stuck being the fact that one of her sloppy friends liked him. Guess he couldn't catch a break huh. So what got to him worse here? The guys that would hang out with him on and off but still insult him? The girls that only saw him as a friend? Or could it be the fact that he heard laughs so often that he would expect it and know exactly when it would come each and every day? He can't tell you. He doesn't even know.

Maybe high school was better you say? Well it was. The jokes with his name in it stalled and died down...but all 4 yrs he expected it and amazed EVERY SINGLE TIME it Didn't happen. The guys.....they hung out with him. Grew friendships and bonds. The ladies.....still the friend for Most -__-. Anything changed? Yes. For more and more females liked him. He could be quoted saying "I feel like a kid in a candy store". Girlfriend after girlfriend with a number of girls to mess around with. Hundreds in his eyes, but it was only a few. Most still wanted him as just a friend. Still walking them home and long phone conversations leading no where. But there were a few that took a chance on him and this built his ego. Not in a bad way, but a good way. More confidence. Stood straight when he talked. Walked with a new demeanor. He owes it to one female specifically, but it was them all that needed thanks. But was it the start of a monster?

First college....he went wild that one year he was there. Trying to get all the upperclassmen females. He had a new cockiness to him while also knowing he couldn't stretch too far beyond his realm. Did he get the ladies he aimed for? Not a single one. Did he turn down Many for sex? Yes. He wasn't a whore lol. But this was followed by a summer of many conquests and numbers received. Did he care for these numbers? No.....but his ego very much did. Second college....failures that would plagued him and taunted him. But in the end he knew what it was....it was the words of females that had been honest with him...from years past..."You're not cute, but you're not ugly". So failure at his aims and success at his wants were all too common. So does this story end happily? No. For his biggest challenge in years was at hand.

The ugly Muslim......well what other title did he deserve? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And his girlfriend of 2.5 yrs accepted his transition...so did a few of the other females he cheated on her with. But the vote was in and elections passed.....he was considered ugly by the masses of females. Thick beard. Chubby. Kufi. Style of dress? Shorts and a t-shirt. Swagger? None and didn't care. Nothing mattered but religion, school, and his girl. The guys all loved him and considered him family. So he was set...right? Wrong. Breaking up with his girl and the one to follow....he grew tired of his beard. He removed the kufi because he couldn't find any he liked to wear at work.....he dressed better....he grew a level of confidence that came with success...he cared about his looks and females took notice. Those that once called him ugly retracted their statements...and now.....well now he goes up to any woman he chooses...knowing with the right words...she's his. So if you can tell by the transition that being happy in his self image was the gift that was waiting....then you lied to yourself....that is still a battle. But is he on the winning side? Yes. Excuse him though if you complement his looks...and he feels like a joke is being made or a line is being used to just make him feel better.