Do You Feel That Draft?: The Shay Affect

So some of you readers know who I am in real life. Some of you only know me online. But if you know me long enough, you would have known that I was never the suave guy that had all the ladies (but my charm now definitely can win them over). For some reason people that didn't know me thought I had all the ladies, but so far from true lol. Most people will agree...we chase the ones we want, while the one we should want is chasing us. That was my case in many ways. Still kinda is, but everything I do or don't do is for a reason now. But where am I going with this? Today someone popped into my head. A female that meant a lot to me. Yes...this is me sharing again lol. Don't get use to it though. I really don't care to share my love life, but this is something that I felt was needed to be shared.

Who is she? What does she mean to me? What happened? Her name WAS Taisha Shay. She meant the world to me at one point (or that is what I felt, who knows if it was me being young and dumb), and what happened is a long story lol, so I'll give the just of it. We met when I was playing video games in my dorm room (which we had an open door/ walk-in policy). She walked in and said hello (She wore a fitted shirt and blue jeans skirt that was kinda long). After some jokes and flirting that day it became a regular routine for us. Once I knew she was single (she messed with some guy on and off), I jumped at my chance to be with her. Calling her to talk on the phone. Text messages that I know would make her smile. Sweet gestures. Spending time with her was hard at times, but that was there also. Outcome.....she went back to dude. But that doesn't mean my feelings for her died.

I ended up having a class with her the very next semester and my feelings for her grew. Joking around in class, flirting, and trying to always be in reach. When she was single again, I threw my hat in the race one more time. This time I went even harder. Landed in the same dorm (by accident) and would walk to her room when I got off work. I can't remember ever putting in such effort for one female. If I said all the little things I did and tried here, this post would be too long. I would question her wife material value at times though when I would see her drunk after parties, but then again, that's what college was about at our age, so I overlooked it. And I definitely hoped many times she would come with me after those parties lol. I even remember going in for a kiss one time and her putting a pause to my effort and telling me "Not yet, we need to be together first". Outcome....she went back to ole dude....but that doesn't mean my feelings for her died.

I transferred to another school and so did she. We kept in contact though. Facebook is always a great tool for that lol. But here we were...more mature and ready for settling down (or at least that's what we thought). Talked about plans and what kind of things we would do together. Long phone conversations. Then whenever plans were made....nothing happened. Back then I blamed myself. I was a broke college student with phone problems and no car. Nevertheless, with time I realized something....those days I would still call and message her throughout the times to get in contact with her...while she was unreachable and only once she called back. When I saw the missed call, I repeatedly called back to no avail. Funny thing was...I had broken up with my girl in order to be with her (and my girl knew). Though as you might have expected...the Outcome....she ended up with someone else and I told her I was done chasing her....but that doesn't mean my feelings for her died.

So what happens now? I transferred schools again and landed in Albany, NY. Went back with the girl I broke up with (and she followed me to the new school). But here comes Ms. Shay back in my life. We begin talking about how crazy it is that we want to be together with such distance (about 3-4 hrs driving). Nevertheless, we were both willing to give it a try. I was smarter now though, so I didn't break up (yeah, its cheating in a way) and didn't get my hopes high....when my phone calls slowly stopped being answered and she stopped reaching out to me...I let it go. Then when I saw wedding photos...I died a bit inside. We stayed in contact nonetheless...we were friends. Funny how it amused her to hear about the feelings I had though. I loved her. Now was it the same love I had for the two main relationships of my life? No. But it was what it was. Outcome....I'm in Michigan having a thought about her. Will I ever go and try to be with her? Hell No!! I'm a lot smarter now. Never would I be with someone that passed on me for another man. I refuse! Though...I can't even remember the number of times I would sing along with Bob Marley ~ Waiting In Vain (in the hundreds to thousands).

So while you read this and feel sorry for me, I write this and laugh at that idiot that thought he would win her heart. Sometimes you have to be a fool before you can grow. Fool me once...shame on you....fool me all those times and I kept falling for it....I was an idiot lol. We're good in my book and she knows it. After all the B.S. I still have love for you Mrs. Taisha Shay-Owens....or is it Mrs. Taisha Owens?