Wonder What Your Maze Is Like: We All Have Preferences

So lately I have been bothered constantly about me preferences when it comes to the females I will and will not date. The main concern of late....? Me not wanting to date single mothers and only going for females that are doing something with their lives. So hmmm....this is a bit idiotic since I spoke on single mothers and why I wouldn't date them (Here!) and its a reasonable decision. And what is wrong with me wanting someone working on a future?

Because I spoke on why I don't want a single mother already in that post, I won't go down that line again. But what I am saying now is that Its A Preference. Females say all the time "I don't want a guy with no job, no car, not educated, doesn't have his own crib, and blah blah blah". But then those same females end up with drama in their life...why? Because they check off the basic values but not the things that can be possible issues or drama. And a female with a child can be just that. And I'm not trying to deal with it. Its funny though when these single mothers attack me on facebook or twitter. It's not like I said they should die or something...just that I don't want them lol. A females says she likes dark skin guys, I'm happy. A female says she likes light skin guys, I'm indifferent. I can't be upset that they have a preference I don't belong to. That's idiotic.

Today a friend of mine got on me about my expectations being too high. What was my want in a girl I'm dating...that she is working towards her future. I didn't say in her field working....college degree....or even a 5 year plan. I just said someone working towards their future. What's the issue with that? She said because of my age, 23, that is too much to ask of someone. But I don't get that. You should start working from a young age on those things. Not wait around and hope things come to you. The older you are, the less time you have to accomplish what you want. So if you tell me because of that my hopes are too high for a female.....then damn....I should have been thinking like that for a longer time.

One consistent thing i did see though...its usually the people that belong to the groups I don't want that get upset. Bad for them though. That's life. If I don't want your group......then I dont want you're group.

We All Have Preferences, Don't Like Mine.....Too Bad. But If You're Happy I Choose Your Group Over Another....Don't Be Angry If I Choose Their Group Over Yours.

No Solution? Well Who's Fault?: Female Complaints On Dating

I have been lucky enough to meet females from all walks of life and dated women from lawyers to girls that worked in sneaker stores.....that's if they even had a job. And currently speaking to someone unlike anyone I have ever dated before and the thought of it is striking to us both. But what am I here to say? I've dated around and feel as if I know a thing or two about the dating scene. So there are a few things about dating I feel I should talk about in this post. Let jump right into it....

"Guys don't want to work and pursue a female anymore."

Maybe the reason for this is because in today's age....a guy can have all the good things that come from getting a female.....but do half the work (sometimes even less that than) that he would have to years ago. Sex is 1000% easier to get. I can call a female up and ask her to cook for me (which I have done). I can ask females to clean my place (which I have done). And a lot of the females in my generation (from what I have seen myself, heard from friends, and see online) aren't even worth the "work" to be put in for them. Or maybe that's because I have high standards. Nevertheless...I admit guys put in less work than in the past, but that is because things also take less work. Want a guy to work harder? Make him.

"Guys don't want to take us out on dates anymore...they just want to go hang out or sit around in a crib."

Quick solution....tell a guy to take you out on a date if he wants to go further. If you allow a guy to not take you out or just have sex with him and then wonder why you guys never go out....who fault is that? Be smart about what you do and allow.

"Chivalry is dead."

First off.....are you traditional? If you're not...then sit down and read a book or something. We don't care what you think. That's like a robber calling a thief a criminal....when you're both criminals. Is it dead? No. Is your choice of guys off? Maybe. Are you putting yourself around guys that don't care about that stuff (whether friend or lover)?? Maybe. What's the solution?.......choose the people you're around better. Many of the guys I am around are chivalrous.

"I can't find a good man."

Are you looking in the right places? Are you looking at all? Are you open to different things? What kind of image or attitude are you giving off? Are you sitting at home and waiting for a random phone call? What do you consider a "good man"? If for any of these questions you got upset, used any curse word to answer, answered out loud lol, or got a bit excited while talking in your head......then yeah...... it might just be you.

"Guys only go for the girls that are hoes."

 Honestly, just worry about your own. If you stop and keep thinking about why the next female is getting guys and not you...you could possible end up doing something that isn't you and ends up looking unattractive. If her trick is putting herself out there as open for sex with guys....then she isn't going to find love so easily in the end (can't turn a hoe into a housewife, but many have tried). So keep being you and hopefully things work out.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. 

~Bill Maher

You're Heading In The Wrong Direction: You Have Me Confused

So right now I have been in New York on my vacation (Back Home, Yes!!!!). So excuse my short absence. But what is on my mind right now? The Theory of Going Dutch.

So while I'm in NY, my thing is seeing old friends and spending time with people I haven't seen in a while. One fact about me though, is that most of my friends are females. Why? I like being around females and they always have fun with me, so they love my company also. The problem I have been having lately though is that they want to go out to dinner ,which I don't like doing with girls I am not dating/messing with/talking to, and then on top of that, have me pay for it. I don't get this at all. Why am I expected to pay for you if we are friends?? What responsibility do I have to you that that is a must? I don't expect anything from you, and you shouldn't from me. Its just time together.

So these are things I've heard lately:

"You're cheap" <~Mostly used

"The guys I go out with always pay"

 "What kind of guy are you? Real men always pay"

 Plus other crap that's too long, but try to demean me. Now my question is to all these female friends of mine......what the hell is wrong with you??

1, I'm not your man. Not trying to be. And want nothing from you but your time.....so why am I paying for your time when you're not paying for mine?
2, We friends. Since when do friends ask friends for anything like that??
3, I don't expect sex or anything from you....so why are you expecting something from me?
4, If I'm cheap because I won't pay for you.....what does that make you if you can't pay for you?

But the funny thing is that these are females I have known and been close with for years and they have never asked these things of me. Hmmmmm wonder why now? Sad when people change for the negative. But looks like I wont be hanging out with them. Screw that. I refuse to pay. What do I look like paying to chill with every friend I have? Who is going to help me when I have bills? Not them. So guess we will keep our relationship to ONLY messengers and texts.

So Ladies, if we are not on an official date, don't expect me to pay. Especially when you ask me out or we are only friends. And if I tell you its going to be dutch....don't be mad....come out your pocket also.

Did You Just Trip?: Funny How Things Work Out

So I was watching Youtube videos and googling. What about? Well nothing other than algorithms lol. But thinking about going through hell with some of my past interviews, I thought of where I am and how I wouldn't be here without certain things happening. So what are they?

1. Meeting my last girlfriend and breaking up with her right on time.
2. Teaching at my last college and it helping me stand out.

So lets go into the first shall we. My last relationship was actually a long distance one. She lived in Atlanta, GA while I lived in Albany, NY at the time. We started dating the Very month the girlfriend before her and I had ended things for good. Nevertheless, after a while of dating I decided that if things continued to be great, I would move to Atlanta in order to be with her. Why such a crazy decision you might ask? Well my logic was:

Whether I stay in NY or move to Atlanta, I am starting my career. And wherever I start working, I will only work there for a couple years anyways before moving on. So it doesn't matter where I live.

So two scenarios could happen. If I didn't find a job...finish my degree...work my internship and save up over the summer...then move there when done and continue job hunting. If I found a job....finish my degree then move there. So for 8 months I searched and found many jobs, with many interviews, BUT No Offers!! Finished my degree...and while working my internship and being broke still (because of trips to be with her and bills)...I decided to move there after I find a job (which is smarter, but I was blinded by wanting to be with her already). So while continuing my job search for Atlanta and taking a trip down there to see her and do an interview, I found out she had been talking to other guys for over a month. So I broke up with her and restricted my job search for NY. In doing so, I came up with many offers, including one from the company I work for now. Right On Time!!! They just opened an office and looking to fill it up.

Next would be my teaching experience. After passing a class and teaching it the very next semester, I received an email about teachers wanted to teach COBOL (Google it). I accepted even though it was a class that I never took and didn't know the material. How do I do such a thing? Get a book and learn it fast enough to leap frog the class and teach it. My college had a job fair. In that job fair was a company in my field that liked that I knew COBOL. Then ended up calling me in for an interview and hiring me as their intern. I then interned there for two years in which I learned the things that attracted my current company to me.

 

Who would have known finding out your girlfriend was messing around on you and that putting yourself into a situation you shouldn't have been in would have had such a great outcome

Am I To Blame For You Not Finishing?: The Cops

There are tons of videos out about what the police do to "Innocent Black People" and how much force they use. Now coming from a low income community and my own past....I hated the cops. Hate is a strong word, but that's how I felt. I have seen so many things the cops would do to people just hanging out, guys just walking by and a number of situations where cops used their Power to instill fear in the community. I've been pulled over in white neighborhoods and questioned for no reason about why I was there. I have been stopped by police for walking with other guys at night time. I've been told to leave parks and benches while doing nothing but hanging out. Even yelled at by cops for being kids and playing around with one another. They arrested my friends and associates. Sent people I grew up with to jail. And then there are the 101 NYPD stories that come out all the time.

But in high school.....I ended up working/playing sports for/and spending all my time at a PAL. How did this start? A friend of mine told me about a football team I could join with him, and I was open to it. Then next thing you know I'm spending all my free time there after school and on weekends. I didn't know that PAL stood for Police Athletic League....or that there were more of them. I just thought it was PAL and that was it lol. Never cared about what the name meant. So when the guys working there told me they were cops and cops started coming in more and more.....I was shocked.....but open/accepting of it all. The guys were cool, the place was cool, and they taught me a lot. So did I stop hating cops? No. Of course not lol. They knew my dislike. I never hid it or kept it from them. We just worked around it since I was a civil person. But as time went on in my life....I didn't grow to love cops...I was just thankful for what they did and that hate turned into admiration.

So why am I writing this blog? Because of the nonstop people and videos that come out where cops are harassing people or using excessive force. First of all....those people the cops sent to jail from my neighborhood...they were drug dealers and killers. When the cops stopped me walking with those guys at night....we were out looking for the guys that beat up a friend of a friend of a friend (A guy was beat up. He called his friend for help. One of his friends was a friend of mine who called me up for help), so their suspicion was warranted. A lot of the things cops do are overboard, but sometimes what they do is logical and based on what you put out. And seeing these videos and hearing these stories of people feeling they have been done wrong by cops are getting old. Especially the Rodney King story (which people don't talk about the part that he had been drinking and speeding). Yes....a beat down was too much. But why is there no video of what happened beforehand? Was he resisting arrest? Did he hit a cop? I want the full story.

I'm just tired of seeing people call out abuse....when they started things or could have easily, done what they asked and moved on. Cop asks for ID....give it to him and move on afterward. Cops stop you for something....why start to curse them out and make a scene? See cops walking...what's the point of doing something to them to cause negative attention to yourself? You see them doing something...what's the point of joining the situation and adding more hostility to it? Why hit or resist a cop? In my opinion...if you hit, fight, or resist arrest...you deserve what you get. They have a lot to face, and you making their day harder helps nothing. Don't get me wrong....cops do a lot that is too far or they just wanted to show their power...but as a society...we are giving them that power. Have a problem with it? Fight back legally.

Violence only creates more Violence. Anger only creates more Anger. So when the biggest gang comes down on you...fighting them will only mean you lose. Even if you win a battle, you will never win the war. Look at the death of Tupac.....over 10 years later, do we have anything on the killers as yet? But he won and lost many battles. Looks like we know who won that war.

How Many Steps To Go Back?: The Count

Had a conversation the other day with multiple people on this. Some on the phone or Facebook chat, others on Twitter. What is the topic? A female's count. The number of partners she has had....that's if she can even remember or count them all.

Why is this even a topic? Because to an extent it does matter. Why? Because it can tell you a lot about someone. Now there are a couple kinds of females for this topic. Lets discuss them and why this even matters at all.

1. The female that is willing to tell and she is telling the truth.
1. Maybe she is proud of her count
2. Maybe she doesn't care what you think about her
3. Maybe she just wants to be honest and up front with you.
2. The female that will not tell you her count.
1. Maybe she is ashamed of her number.
2. Maybe telling her number has led to problems before.
3. Maybe she honestly feels its something private and none of your business.
3. The female that lies about her number.
1. Probably ashamed of her number and afraid of what you will think.
2. Maybe feels it is very private....but then again why lie? Why not just not tell a number.
3. She's a liar and a waste of time.

Now why does this even matter you may ask? A number can say a lot. But to cut some reading time for you and writing time for me...lets bullet the more important aspects.

• Shows her moral code or personal standards.
• Shows how much she can control herself or hold back from temptation.
• Tells whether she ever had a wild side before you.
• How close she feels with you to tell you (if its something meaningful to her).
• How many guys around can just say they had her (no one wants someone everyone had).
• How sexual a being she is.
• And most importantly, was/is she a hoe (can't turn a hoe into a housewife).

All things are important in that list. Some more than others. And yes people change. I am not saying judge who people are now by how many guys she's been with. I'm saying don't exclude that kind of input into who she is as a person. Do I go and ask every female I'm courting about her count?? No. Especially not if she is older than me lol. Why do I ask some and not the other? Well if she's are younger than me....its based on how she carries herself. We can date and I will never ask you. Why? Because you truly carry yourself like a lady or I don't care because I don't expect us to go anywhere but the bedroom. If she's older than me....I won't ask no matter what lol. She is older and probably has some miles on her. Meaning....if I know the number and its HUGE.....it will only be something that pops up in my head lol.

Nevertheless, as I get older...I am more open and accepting to larger number. At 20 I was shocked when the girl I was dating said 4 or 5 at 18. Last year I was shocked when a girl I was dating said 9 at 19. My fiance in high school....I don't remember asking her a number because of how she carried herself. Girls I have been talking to of late.....I haven't ask. Either because I didn't expect anything real from them, they were older, or because of how they carried themselves.

The moral here:

A female's number isn't the most important aspect of her, but it can say something about her.....No matter what age. But sometimes.....a catch is too good a catch to look for things to go wrong.

 And Yes....I Do Watch My Own Count And Make Sure It Never Goes Crazy. You Can Say A Lot About A Guy's Count Also.......But I Don't Care About A Guy's Count.

Getting Tired Or Quitting?: Am I Becoming Lazy?

I recently read A Blog Post and one thing that stood out to me was:

"Let’s get back to my revelation. I was telling my friend about this girl I ‘really liked’ but I didn’t think it was going to work out because I was tired of chasing her. My friend asked me to explain what I did before giving up. I told her that I called once or twice and sent one or two text messages. There was a brief silence – and I’ll spare you the profanity laced details – but basically, she cursed me out and in so many words called me a lazy bastard. I couldn’t get upset because she was right."

This sounds EXACTLY like me lol. I will openly admit that I have become lazy and the actions on my part have definitely been liquidated lol. These are the responses I get when I explain it to people also. But honestly, its not only me that have stopped trying to get with women as hard as we use to. It's all guys. We try less...why?? Because females allow it. Men will not do a thing that women verbally disagree with and have the actions to back it up as a whole. Why? Because we want you guys lol. If all women hated drug dealers and showed it with their actions, no guys would be drug dealers. But the truth is in the pudding.

In high school...when a female gave me her number...I would call her days later. Plain and simple. No texting first. No online messages somewhere. I would wait for a good time in the evening, and call her up. Only person I really ever text was my girlfriend at the time. Everyone else got a phone call. It was the ages of text messages costing money and phone minutes being a valuable, but limited resource. After years upon years of being in relationships, I was informed many times over that I was now suppose to text a girl that gave me her number. She'll prob ask for my Facebook or Skype, then if she has those, she might request my Twitter name. All while texting or speaking on an instant messenger of course.

She is more open to calling me first and often. She is more open to making the first move in public. She'll even tell me how much she likes me first and be the aggressor. So while I like when females are more open and willing to put their hand in the fire and try to see what happens....its also making men lazier. Why put in tons upon tons of work when I know the girls down the blog just need me to smile at them and give a wave? Stuck in the world where men do everything and put in 90% of the work?? Too Damn Bad! That just means you're going to be waiting a whole lot longer than anyone else and who knows if you will even find someone. I tell females all the time, don't sit around at home waiting for Mr. Right. Sometimes you have to make that first move.

Is this my laziness talking? Maybe. Am I right? Probably. Have I gotten lazier as time goes on?? Hells Yes lol. I'm a wanted commodity. I'm good looking, charming, funny, well educated, and a lot of other things. So I worry not about finding females. So yeah.....I'm lazier.....but don't judge me lol.

So as I sit around and keep a nice roster.....don't blame me if you're lonely. Your actions speak volumes.